It's nice to know you aren't alone...

An excerpt from Katie Couric's interview with Michelle Obama about something I struggle with every day. And something so many people don't really think about:

Couric: People do like to characterize people; caricature people. And they like to follow a narrative. I'm sure you've been asked this and it's sort of a hackneyed question but I'm gonna ask you anyway because I don't think you've actually articulated fully … what you … might do and if you even know at this point in time. But obviously First Ladies have adopted causes, you know, from Ladybird Johnson to Betty Ford to, you know, Barbara Bush and literacy.

Betty Ford in kind of busting taboos about breast cancer and alcohol addiction. Nancy Reagan about drugs. Have you thought about what cause you would really like to adopt and pursue and push into the forefront?

Obama: I've thought about it a lot and I get asked it a lot. But there are a lot of things that I care about. I mean, I ran … a national service program, so I care very deeply about national service. I work for an academic medical center. So I know the challenges in healthcare. I am a mother and a professional - and a wife. And I know the struggles of trying to balance work/life/family.

And I know that it's something that every woman that I know is struggling with, and every family in America is impacted by the challenges that we face when we try to do it all without resources and support … informal structures of support.

The only way that I manage every day is because of all these informal support structures in my life, whether it's my mom or a set of girlfriends or the flexibility on a job because I'm a vice president and I can set my hours when I need to. I've managed because of that. But how on earth are single-parent mothers doing it, nurses and teachers and folks who are on shifts? People who don't have access to decent childcare. You know, folks who don't have good healthcare and where the school systems aren't where they need to be so they're worried about whether their kids are getting a good education. You know, all of this takes an emotional and
psychological toll on women and families.

And the truth of the matter is that we are only as strong in this society … as the health of our families and the people who head them. But we haven't talked enough about that in just real practical ways. I mean, up until this point, as a woman, I've been told, "You can have it all, and you should be able to manage it all." And I've been losing my mind trying to live up to that. And it's impossible. It's impossible. We're putting women and families in a no-win situation.

Couric: Especially if they don't have the flexibility that you …

Obama: …which the vast majority of women in this country don't. They're not earning enough to cover childcare. They don't-- you know, I met … a woman ... she's working two jobs: a full-time job and a part-time job. She has two kids and a husband. They don't have healthcare. You know? She has a 7-year-old and a 3-year-old, you know? I mean, you know she's not healthy. You know she doesn't have time to get mammograms and Pap smears. You know that she doesn't feel secure about what kind of mother she is.

And she's not fully invested in any of the jobs that she has because she's trying to do it all. That's how women are living in this society. And that transcends race and socioeconomic status and political affiliation. I can go into any town, anywhere in this country, and I can spend hours talking to women about this impossible balance, and the toll that it's taking.

So we have to talk about that. And we have to design policies that have meaningful impacts on the quality of life of women and families. And that's something that I know I can speak passionately about because whether I'm in the White House as First Lady, as long as I have kids and I'm trying to have a life, I'm gonna be trying to make this balance work, wondering every day whether I'm being a good enough mother, whether I'm spending enough time with my kids.

What happens when they have a crisis and I'm flying around somewhere? My challenges are much more public, but they're the same as most women. And we need to figure this out. And how do we define roles for ourselves as women that are healthy and balanced and make sense?