Thank you, everyone, for your kind words in regards to my NMM#157. I've learned that, in this motherhood thing, it really helps to know what others have gone through. And that what I'm feeling is not new. Nor does it make me crazy.
I want to point out that I have not been doing this on my own thus far. Both my MIL and Stepmother have been wonderful about assisting in the care of my household and child. Any anxiety I am feeling about having to do all these things on my own is a direct result of my desire to be independent and to be "SuperMom". And to not impose. Really, I think that's the root of the problem there: I don't want to impose.
I don't want to impose on MIL or Stepmom by asking for their help. I don't want to impose on Husband by asking him to help. Or having a fussy baby every evening when he comes home. I fret about what Ainsley's sleep habits are going to be like once I have to send her to daycare because it might be an imposition on the employees. That I'm paying to take care of my child. To whom I will be instructed to give a schedule to so they can kindly follow her established schedule. I don't want to impose on the other patrons of a given department store or grocery store so that I can get some much needed shopping done. I wouldn't even want to impose on those of you who have offered your help and even given phone numbers!
And the list goes on. Now there's no reason to believe that any of these people have felt imposed. Actually, they all (except for the other patrons) have offered to help. So the hang-up remains mine. Something I'm slowly learning to deal with.
The other clarification is that Husband has really been a huge help. I don't want to make it sound like he's just sitting around on his bum watching me go through all of this with a beer and a bag of popcorn. I certainly would not have made it to this point without him. Truthfully, I'd still be carrying her around in my belly if it weren't for him. So he is my Knight in Shining Armor, don't doubt that.
Again, all this anxiety is self-imposed. So maybe I need to be more concerned with imposing on myself and take some of those helping hands so many are offering.
4 comments:
Ooooh, that last little paragraph is it. But changing is hard. And I just now noticed that my encouraging words for the NMM post didn't post. I suck. I will try to call you today or tomorrow.
What was it Stewart Smalley said on SNL? "Something like, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone-it, people like me!" In other words you DESERVE to ask for help. You are a good enough mom, you are a smart enough mom, and we all (including your daughter) love you, so cut yourself some slack and let us help. I feel like being allowed to help is a tremendous gift, not an imposition, and there is a reason that throughout history people lived with extended families. Parenthood is not something one can do in isolation.
Like I said, it's hard to ask for help when you are used to just taking care of things yourself. I didn't doubt that Husband wasn't doing anything, just that you weren't asking! :) GL with the asking....baby steps!
Wise words. There's no such thing as "Supermom" and those people get PAID to do what they do.
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