geek's pensieve

Pregnancy Redux

2011-02-28T22:35:00.000-06:00

A few people have asked me how the second pregnancy compared to the first. And, likewise, how the second baby has compared to the first. Tim and I are amazed every day at how different each child is.

Pregnancy. It was much harder on me physically the second time around. And I don't know if that's because of my age or just a precursor to Lucy's acid reflux issues. I had the same bouts of all-day sickness and aversion to water. But the nausea was much more...productive this time around. I didn't ever have to pull over the car during any of my hour long commutes, but there was at least one morning when I had to run to the side of the house and revisit the blueberry Special K I'd had that morning. Hello, Neighbors!

So, yes, I had issues with water until well into my second trimester. And I tried everything this time. Those little Crystal Lite packets were too sweet. The addition of lime only helped occasionally. The best I could do was straight up Koolaid mix. Not the tubs because that already had sugar, but a little of the packet added to each glass. It needed to be more sour than sweet. My doctor was baffled by it as well. Weird pregnancy issues: One; Me: zero.

There was also the aversion to corn and corn products, again. Just the thought of having Fritos made me green. And add to that the aversion to potatoes. I mean, what sane person doesn't want to eat mashed potatoes?

The only cravings I really remember were McDonald's french fries and a strawberry shake (thanks, Mom) and a chopped beef barbeque sandwich - and I mean a gas station barbeque sandwich. Oh, and beer. Beer. Beer. Beer. So I'd sneak a swig of Tim's occasionally. Yep, I'll own it.

I had the same general hip and pelvic pain that required me to sleep with a pillow between my knees. And walking 30 minutes a few times a week would improve the pain - although it was generally worse while I was walking.

The belly showed up earlier this time around. Probably by about 2 months. And I remember thinking that you are supposed to "show" earlier in subsequent pregnancies. But then there was the realization at about a month later when I really started to show that the "bump" that had been there for a while was really just belly fat. Woohoo!

I felt movements earlier this time around. Mostly because I knew what to feel for. There was one night pretty early on that I was sitting on the floor and bent forward at the waist. The baby kind of jerked to let me know I was squishing her. That really surprised me because it was way before I should have been able to feel anything. But what other explanation is there? Okay, maybe gas, but my version is much more endearing so I'm sticking to it.

I was also much more relaxed about the whole thing. Toward the end I got a little freaked out because I was afraid I hadn't prepared enough. I still feel that way to some extent. Starting solids is freaking me out because it's about two months earlier than we started them with Ainsley and I think I did a lot more research then to figure out what, when and how much. I feel like I'm winging it this time. Poor Lucy.

I think that's all. A little bit about second babies - or, at least, our second baby - coming up. And a six month recap...in pictures!

Dance Party (woo hoo!)

2011-02-05T23:24:00.001-06:00

While I would like to post a couple of things regarding second pregnancies and second babies, I would just fall behind again while I try to write them. I am a habitual overthinker when it comes to writing and sometimes I kind of drown in all the boring things I have to say. Sooooo...

Have you ever been to one of our (adult) Halloween parties? If not, you have missed. out. My husband goes all out. The house is completely redecorated** in the two days prior that he usually takes off from work to get ready. Furniture is moved out of the living room; a haunted house of sorts is set up in the garage - a somewhat legendary one that has brought people back to our house for trick-or-treating over the last few years. The island is filled with whatever assortment of adult beverages we have on hand. A fire pit is set up outside for the less dancy ones. And dance lights are set up in the living room. Oh, and we mustn't forget the disco ball.

Anyhoo. Because we had a wee little one, and also partially because last year (2009) we had people who couldn't take the hint to get out of our house at 3am, we did not have our adult party. But Tim has been hinting at making additional use of our dance lights for a while and tonight we broke them out for a DANCE PARTY (woo hoo!). Ainsley l.o.v.e.s. to dance so we used this to bribe her through dinner.

Were I a more skilled photographer, I probably could have gotten some better photos but these will have to do for now...enjoy!

**This redecorating really throws me for a loop because I don't handle change well.

Some much needed updating...

2011-02-01T22:24:00.002-06:00

Since I unexpectedly have way more time on my hands than I thought I would a week ago, I thought it might be time to update. I'd like to share pictures with you if I can keep up with it this time. I did manage, in the process of making my usual yearly album, to organize my pictures in PSE a little better so maybe it will be easier to update regularly. Of course the issue of wading through the quantity of pictures still remains - the biggest downfall of digital cameras - especially since sometimes I have different opinions of what is good.

Let's start with the two pictures I sent out as announcements for Lucy this fall - since you only got one each:

Lucinda "Lucy" June

19 August 2010 at 6:36 am

8lbs 7 oz & 20 1/2 inches

with big sister Ainsley

As you can probably tell, I took these at home. Nothing fancy but, somehow, it means more to me that I took them an not a studio photographer.

Pregnancy Brain is...

2010-08-06T09:35:00.001-05:00

...that split second either before or after you say hello to someone and wonder if you got their name right. Even if you say hello to them every day.

Ainsley's First Fishing Trip

2010-05-01T22:42:00.005-05:00

Another action packed day today. We day-tripped to Huntsville SP to take Ainsley fishing for the first time. She'd been asking to go for a couple of weeks now.

She caught - with ample help from Daddy - three fish. And then got bored with the whole thing. But there are a few fun pictures though these pictures make her look a lot more independent than she actually was.

And then she spent the rest of the afternoon running around in the sprinklers and on the slip-n-slide.

Spring in Central-ish Texas

2010-05-01T21:55:00.009-05:00

Nothing says Spring in Texas - well most of Texas - like bluebonnets. And we fulfilled the stereotypical requirement for parents in Texas this year and went in search of bluebonnets in which to bury our child and take pictures.

We made a bit of a day/road trip out of it though and drove to Brenham and followed a portion of the Bluebonnet Trail up to Washington-on-the-Brazos. There was one area just past Huntsville that had a group of cars and like-minded parents but we wanted somewhere that wouldn't require us to fend off 300 other parents to get a quick picture.

After lunch in Brenham we turned North to follow the Bluebonnet trail and there were patches a plenty but most were behind barbed wire and we weren't crazy enough for pictures to hop anyone's fence. The park didn't offer much except a little patch right behind the visitor's center, though we didn't figure that out until we'd walked about a mile in an attempt to get to an area one of the park rangers suggested might be good. It wasn't, but I did manage to get some good pictures along the way.

Unfortunately we looked like a couple of city slickers in street shoes because we had not intended to have to walk that far. And by the time we got back to the original patch, Ainsley was too tired to play a very good model so I didn't get to try out very many of the strategies I'd seen on other "real" photographers websites. But I'm not too disappointed in the results.

Because that wasn't a busy enough day for an almost three-year-old and pregnant lady, we stopped at the store on the way home to pick up some brats to take over to our friends' house to try out their new pool. It was Ainsley's first time in a big pool and she took to it very well. I suppose that means we need to consider swim lessons this summer.

I'll have to say that the water was still a bit cool at only 70 degrees (which may sound like heaven to some, but we're used to the 80 plus degree bath water in the Gulf down here) and with the wind made it very hard to stay in very long. And it would seem Ainsley's inherited my tendency to get the chattery teeth after being in the water for any extended period of time. We had a hard time getting her warmed up after she got out.

All in all, it was a good weekend.

Port Aransas - Year 3

2010-01-30T13:50:00.013-06:00

For the past several years, we have taken a family vacation to Port A in October with Tim's mom and brother - and his pop when schedule permits. This was Ainsley's third trip and maybe the first from which she'll actually remember anything.

She absolutely loves the beach and getting in the water. This makes days at the beach a little more intense for us, because while last year she had fun on the beach she was too afraid of the water to really go near it. So we could just sit back and watch her chase the seagulls. This year she wanted to be all up in the waves but she can't swim and her fear was minimal at best. There was a lot of, "Holy crap! She's heading for the water!"

The first challenge was the trip down there. It's easily a 3-1/2 to four hour drive without a two year old. That's a long trip for someone who doesn't typically sleep in the car. And of course we had to add in some stops for food and potty breaks:

The first day was really the only good day we had at the beach.

The next day, there were prospects of rain so we the morning at the state aquarium in Corpus Christi.

And we spent the afternoon at the bird center.

It was pretty cold after the rain so the next day we just wandered around town and spent a little time at the beach in warmer clothing.

SNOW!!!

2009-12-04T08:44:00.001-06:00

That's all.

An Outside Perspective

2009-05-05T16:41:00.003-05:00

This morning one of the other mothers from Ainsley’s classroom stopped me to tell me how surprised she is at Ainsley’s vocabulary. Not necessarily the complexity of her words, but her ability to form full sentences. How cool is that? Let me tell you: pretty gosh-darn awesome. I mean, I’m impressed on a daily basis at how much she understands. And sometimes the things she says catch me totally off-guard because she really gets it. But we don’t have any basis of comparison. She is our first child and none of our friends have kids, really, so we don’t know what to think. It’s amazing to hear that from another mom.

And she sings. A lot. And well. The girl can carry a tune. Her repertoire includes the many variations of Brother John/Where is Thumbkin, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, the ABC song (and she gets quite a few of the letters right), parts of the Wonder Pets theme song, and more that I can’t think of right now.

I'm sure there will be a day when her chattiness will get her into trouble at school, but for now I can't stop smiling about it.

So. Much. Fun!

I’ve been stuck in the Twilight zone – a very unsophisticated review

2009-03-30T13:32:00.000-06:00

I finished the Twilight series yesterday after approximately one and a half weeks of reading absolutely every chance I could get. I stayed up past my bedtime way too many nights in a row. It will be nice to get a good night’s rest tonight. And my husband will enjoy having conversations with me again. But, yeah, they were good books.

I am by no means a literary critic but here’s my basic synopsis:

The story was very compelling and made me thirst (ha!) for more. Stephenie Meyer doesn’t give you all the facts up front. There’s no background and then the story and I think that’s why it’s so engrossing. You have to keep reading to just understand what the heck is going on. The fact that it was written in first person had an impact with how involved I got with the story, too. I think subconsciously you can identify with/as the main character when the story has all those “I”s in it.

What I really liked was that it wasn’t your typical vampire scary story. I can understand why Stephen King didn’t like them. There are no gory details about the blood being drained from a victim’s body – in fact, there was almost no time devoted to the actual vampiric acts. This really is more about the “against all odds” love story – which is why I would readily label this as chic lit. But be prepared for the story to be predictable, almost too often. If you boys can get through the first book, the last three are a bit more action packed.

My biggest complaint was the grammar, though I suppose you could argue that Stephenie Meyer meant for it to read like a teenager was actually telling you the story. I just have a tendency to get hung up on the “who/whom” thing. And everyone should use “neither” with “nor” not “or”. But that’s just me.

My second biggest complaint is that there were a few times when I wanted to punch the main character because she was sooooo dramatic about some seemingly trivial things, and not dramatic enough about more important things – like finding out your crush is a vampire, or your best friend is a werewolf.

I think it’s a waste of time to try to compare this series to Harry Potter, so don’t bother. And I don’t think I’ll see the movie anytime soon. The reviews were poor and Cedric Diggory would not have been my first choice to play the lead vampire role. Plus I don’t think I could handle the reportedly cheesy special effects. Maybe if the second one gets better ratings, I’ll consider it.

And, by the way, you should NOT let your fifth grade daughters read these books – especially the last two. Most of the subject matter is inappropriate unless you are ready to answer a lot of questions.

Synergy-Related Headcount Restructuring

2009-03-17T21:21:00.006-06:00

Though things are going swimmingly with my new job, I still get mad every now and again about the whole lay-off thingy. So, I thought this article seemed appropriate.

PS I guess it's still about me a little bit.

February Update

2009-03-11T21:01:00.006-06:00

February was a challenging month. It started terribly - with the bitty one sick and job loss a couple of days later. But it ended on an upswing, though the bitty one was still a little sick. Here are a couple of my favorite pictures from my "holiday with Ainsley" - and it was hard to choose only a few.

You may be able to see the rest at my flikr account if you've signed up as one of my contacts.

The Carnival in Our Backyard

2009-03-01T22:22:00.005-06:00

Some pictures from the carnival yesterday at the elementary school they built behind us last year. Beautiful day, though a bit windy. Ainsley was distracted enough to leave the pigtails in for a short time.

I'm going to suffer withdrawal tomorrow after having spent three straight weeks with her. I don't know that I've ever spent that much time with anyone.

A New Leaf

2009-02-27T23:41:00.002-06:00

If you hadn't noticed, there's been a small change above. I'm revamping in the hope of taking the blog in a bit of different direction. I've been reviewing my last bunch of posts and, man, am I a huge downer. So my goal is to concentrate more on Ainsley. I mean she's just too cute to pass up and there are some distant family members that definitely deserve to have more updates and more pictures to peruse.

The banner is a work in progress. I'm in the middle of trying to import all of my pictures into Photoshop Elements. I'm finding that there are some organizational techniques that it lacks so it's taking longer than I expected. I just picked a random photo last night and played with it to get the banner above. I think it needs to be a little taller next time. But the colors work surprisingly well with the rest of the page.

The update on all other fronts is that I start a new job on Monday. One that will be infinitely more accepting of my family life. The following statement was actually part of the offer letter:

"We offer flexible work hours and encourage our employees to coordinate a schedule with management that fits their lifestyle and family schedule."

And, as I told my husband the other day, I can actually see myself wanting to move into more of a management position with this company. I never wanted that with the old company because they worked like dogs and got nothing for it.

The last three weeks have proven to be interesting and the Universe appeared to do it's best to take care of us.

And, finally, there is a slight chance that Miss Ainsley has scarlet fever, which is significantly less of an issue than Little House on the Prairie always made it out to be. It's basically strep throat with a rash. We'll know for sure in a couple of days. She's not feeling bad, but she's covered in a rash that makes me uncomfortable to look at.

A Big Slice of Humble Pie...

2009-02-17T12:52:00.003-06:00

To start off, a little tip: when filing for unemployment in TX severance pay is not the same as "wages paid instead of advanced notice." You know, in case a friend ever needs to file for unemployment because she's been laid off. Because goodness knows I hope you never have to deal with it. It kinda sucks. Especially when it means you have to find a way to survive on much less than you were before. Though thankfully (and sadly) it's still more than a lot of employed people have to survive on. So, I suppose I shouldn't complain too loudly.

Yeah, so it seems in an inadvertant way, I really did commit the ultimate career limiting move when I had a baby. Not that I was told that's why I was let go. In fact, the only thing I was told was that it was a big layoff and they had to reach pretty far up into the ranks. Bullshit. Once you consider that I was with that company for over eight years and they kept a lot of people who have less than three years of experience in the industry, there's not much else left to assume.

Based on the few people I've talked to since then, the scab who apparently made the decision is really big on overtime, and I hadn't put much of that in over the last couple of years. Nevermind that: 1) I had a miscarriage, a pregnancy, and a baby that required attention; 2) I had a conversation with my boss and we agreed that it was okay for me to keep to 40 hours per week; 3) I put in butt-loads of overtime before that all happened; and 4) I was getting my work done and putting in overtime when I needed to.

So, I'm done. I don't take kindly to a group that throws me to the wayside after eight years of heart and soul. Pbbbbt.

Now, I'm looking for greener pastures. They seem to be very few and far between because this damn credit crunch has my industry all locked up. A stimulus package would be nice. I hope it works quickly.

It's frickedy cold outside...

2008-12-10T15:24:00.003-06:00

That's all. There may be snow tonight because it hasn't gotten above 34 all day. The weather guy on the Early Show really should have been more excited or surprised at the weather we are having down here this morning. It is Southeast Texas after all.

Oh, geez...

2008-11-17T10:04:00.002-06:00

I was out last Friday because Ainsley was sick. I came back today to find out that 6 people had been laid off from this office and four more from the other two offices. Ugh. I hate not knowing where I fall on that list. Especially since I committed the ultimate career limiting move (i.e., had a baby). So, why am I taking time out to post this? I don't know. Bye.

On Being Dissatisfied

2008-10-03T14:09:00.003-05:00

I've been in an offsite meeting all morning, and within ten minutes of getting here this morning, I am again on the verge of tears. I have never, in my eight years of this career, had so many people demanding things from me at once and every one of them prclaiming them to be urgent. I have one project where every email and phone call I get has one of those little red exclamation points next to the title. And I'm getting an average of five emails from them a day.

I currently feel like I'm wallowing in a pit of despair with no way out. And am completely overwhelmed by the helplessness I feel when I think about all there is to do. I'm tired of taking work home with me every night and neglecting my other responsibilities to get more work done. I'm supposed to take one of the hardest tests of my life in three weeks and I have yet to even start studying because my evenings are filled with work. And I'm still terribly behind.

So I'm looking for some way to make it better. But there aren't many options - or, rather, there aren't many simple options. To make it better, I'm afraid I will have to do something else. And that either means a relatively small difference or a rather large difference that requires some personal objections. I've come to the realization that I may have to make peace with the fact that I can no longer continue to do what I enjoy doing.

More later...

The Downward Spiral 2

2008-10-02T14:10:00.003-05:00

Heh. The title did an auto fill when I started typing it so I must have used it before. Sadly.

If I have to call my husband from work in tears one more time, I think I'll cry.

How's that for an update?

Ten on Thursday....yeah, that's right: THURSDAY!

2008-07-24T13:26:00.003-05:00

So this is a couple of days late, but I suddenly wanted to participate:

10 Least Favorite Celebrities

1. John Lovitz - Creepy and annoying!
2. Juliette Lewis - Again, creepy. And she always plays the same characters, which doesn't say much for hers.
3. VINCE VAUGHN - Really. How many jackasses can you play and still be a fan favorite. Least favorite role of his: Made.
4. Andy Dick - Did you know he's (abnoxiously) gay? He certainly won't let you forget it.
5. Christian from Project Runway - I really hate that the salutatorian at my brother's HS graduation used "fierce" in her speech to describe the valedictorian.
6. Brendan Fraser - I know he plays cutsie roles, and he's probably a nice guy, but WHY do they keep giving him movie scripts. (And how long do you think "The Mummy" writers salivated over using the predictable, "I hate ~~snakes~~ mummies!" in their film?)
7. Tom Cruise - I don't like that his crazy is everywhere.
8. Mel Gibson - What really rubs me is he's a good actor and has done some phenomenal movies. But again, his crazy is leaking all over the place.
9. Keanu Reeves - Yep, terrible actor.
10. The trifecta known as Matthew McConaughey, Lance Armstrong and Jake Gyllenhaal - MM is an ass, LA is a wife-leaving ass, and JG (even though I have a lot of respect for some of his work) is a dumb-ass.

Oh, yeah, you know that's a good list, Baby!

For all you bargainhunters...

2008-06-26T11:07:00.002-05:00

Thought I'd post some good bargain hunting mom sites:

And just a general help site for groceries:

http://www.thegrocerygame.com/

Enjoy!!

Dear Property Manager:

2008-06-17T13:41:00.004-05:00

I really don't appreciate the snyde comments about the shower curtain in my office window as you walk clients around our office. It does serve a very important purpose and I came up with the best solution to a problem that none of my managers were going to help me solve.

I don't even know why you're walking your clients around our office. They can't live with us on this floor. So you can stick your, "Yeah. Isn't that nice?" comment up your ass.

With Love,
geek

Yes, it is true.

2008-06-16T10:52:00.005-05:00

(someone commented on this topic this weekend, so I'm sharing)

When you are childless it is easy to laugh at statements like, "Kids are always sticky and have runny noses." Well, the joke's on you, because it is true. And it stresses me out a little when I go out in public with my daughter or am around people without kids.

Whilst going through the initial teething phase, which lasted about six months, Ainsley drooled like a leaky faucet. And I tried very hard at first to make sure every little drop of spittle was immediately wiped from her mouth. She must have gone through ten to 12 bibs a day. I'd wipe the spit off of anything she put in her mouth. Sometime in the last year, though, I gave up. Or maybe I've just become desensitized.

And nevermind the nose. That I still try to diligently keep up with, but Ainsley has allergies. While the Claritin has helped for the most part, she also gets somewhat frequent ear infections, which means gross, runny nose (not just the clear stuff). And wiping her nose occasionally requires me to have more skill than a champion cattle rustler.

Table foods have brought about the stickiness. Really, there's only so much you can wipe off, even with a wet cloth. And she's so not into this washing your hands thing yet. We do the best we can.

The important thing is that I do realize that non-parents don't always understand this. While the line of drool hanging off of my daughter's chin doesn't bother me anymore, the person holding her may have some qualms about it. So, my dear internet, I promise to attempt to keep it under control while you're holding her.

PS I also promise to not bring my kids to your house and decide to not parent them while visiting.

Help, please

2008-06-04T09:25:00.002-05:00

I'm asking for some advice from all you moms out there. My daughter is almost a year old and is already currently drinking some whole milk and eating table foods like a champ. I am still nursing but would really, really, really like to quit pumping at work. I'm starting to feel like it's more of a burden than a necessity. But I don't think my daughter is ready to give up the bottle altogether yet.

How do you know if a child is ready to wean? She's never really been the type to "ask" to nurse. But, then, maybe she does and I just don't know it. If I sit down with her to nurse, it's not like she refuses to sit still.

So, do I just start sending only whole milk in the bottles for the daytime? I don't mind still nursing when I'm with her - mornings, evenings and on the weekends.

Anyway, that's my question.

The Downward Spiral

2008-05-14T10:18:00.002-05:00

Why does is seem so much goes wrong all. at. once? You know: when it rains and all that jazz (how's that for mashing a couple of cliches in your face). As I napped on the couch this morning, I had nightmares about the roof of the house leaking and that the window frame by the back door was all crooked and that whole wall had paint bubbling up on it because there was water seeping through. Oh, and there was a cat/chipmunk running around the house and doodle bugs everywhere. Heh.

My car crapped out on me last Friday, sorta'. And Tim's doesn't run because the battery is dead (we hope) and it doesn't matter anyway because the tags are expired and who knows what else. Really, it's mostly about the fact that I don't like to drive his car. It makes me sneeze everytime I get in it. That's it: allergic to the whole car. I digress...

The transmission I've been having issues with since I bought my car over five years ago finally decided to give up the ghost. I spent the afternoon driving, wondering if that time the engine really did fall out of the car, and praying that I could just get to the daycare center and pick up my daughter. We did make it home, by the way; I'm not lying in a ditch somewhere.

Anyway, I ended up having to take it to the dealership because the part would have needed to be recalibrated by a dealer anyway. I got it there at 12:30pm on Saturday and rental car places close at noon. And they aren't open on Sundays - unless you go to the airport. Poop! We had to bum a vehicle off of a friend for the weekend. So this totally negates a couple of items on my thankful list. Well, I guess you could say that I just need to be thankful that I can "afford" to get it fixed. Yeah, it's not like I had that money set aside for anything anyway. I was just running around, tossing it into the air, and wondering what I could ever find to spend it on.

Saturn is definitely going to get a letter from me on this one, though. Customer service, my ass. I've complained about the shifting problem four or five times over the last five years and all they ever did was upgrade my computer software. Good job, Genius. Clearly that fixed the problem. I'm a little confused about what else I should have said to them besides, "It doesn't work right!"

So I went through the hassle of renting a car - why do they always smell like sweatsocks and dogs? And I figured it would be Thursday before they fixed my car since he was skeptical about getting the part on Monday and I figured that once they got the part it would be a day or so before they got around to actually fixing it. At $98/hour why not take your time.

And I should have expected the phone call yesterday telling me they got the wrong part. Poop!

The icing on the cake? Our overflow drain on the air conditioner has water running out of it. And Ainsley is currently on her third round of anitbiotics for two ear infections and she seems to be getting worse. Poop!

Redesign

2008-05-08T13:08:00.005-05:00

So, this is step one in my redesign that I figure will take me a very long time because I don't know a lot about programming nor do I have as much time to spend on it as I would like. There's not much hope of it ever looking like this. But it's a change at least.

Let me know how easy it is to view on your screen. The screen I set it up on is a rather atypical, large screen. I'm hoping you don't have to scroll left/right to see it all.

Just Wondering

2008-04-29T11:12:00.002-05:00

What it is about me that made you think I wanted to hear about your political views. Or why, after hours of conversation in the lunch room, you didn't realize that I am a self-proclaimed "tree hugger".

Please Note...

2008-04-28T14:20:00.002-05:00

The proper use of the phrase "in lieu of" is akin to using "instead of". It does not mean "in celebration of" or "because of". Please refer to this page for further explanation.

PS Stop reading other people's emails.

In a (very large) nutshell

2008-04-28T10:47:00.003-05:00

Ooo, ahhh. Very good weekend, though it started out rather rocky. Let's see...

We started supplementing Ainsley's bottles with formula last week and because we did, I was able to build up enough of a reserve that she didn't need formula this weekend while Tim and I went camping.

I wasn't so sure things were going to work out until mid-afternoon on Friday because Ainsley started coughing in her sleep Wednesday night and Thursday after school was unusually fussy. Friday morning she woke up with her nose completely crusted over and, again, unusually fussy. I was almost convinced she was having a reaction to the formula. So I called the nurse and made an appointment for that afternoon.

This put a bit of a damper on the camping trip because we were supposed to leave shortly after lunch. And my MIL had had plans to take Ainsley up to her school and show her off to some friends. Turns out Ainsley had an ear infection in BOTH ears and her throat was a little irritated. Ugh.

Finally, after filling prescriptions, some last-minute packing, last-minute instructions, and convincing myself that it was okay to leave Ainsley in my MIL's very capable hands, Tim and I left for our trip. So, despite the few curveballs the universe threw at us, we made it to our destination.

The remainder of my weekend was pretty much all about relaxing. I had worked pretty much all night long to finish a project on Thursday night, so there was a lot of sleeping. And good sleep it was. I went fishing with the boys on Saturday morning, but spent most of the time napping in the boat. And just hung around the campsite on Saturday afternoon.

I'm a little disappointed that I didn't do any hiking or biking, but I think I needed a real do-nothing weekend; something I haven't had in a very long time.

Just because the shoe fits doesn't mean you should wear it!

2008-04-24T09:50:00.003-05:00

BULLETIN (which really shouldn't have to be a bulletin): crocs are NOT appropriate office footwear. I don't care if they look like this, either. And flip-flops should be discouraged, too. I would only find that acceptable if you were, say, eight months pregnant and no other shoes will fit you anymore. But be careful, because when you're pregnant your feet tend to sweat (yes, even in flip-flops) and said flip-flops could get really stinky and have to be thrown out completely.

Eeek!

2008-04-23T08:51:00.003-05:00

We are trying to supplement with formula today because Tim and I are going out of town this weekend and I don't have enough of a reserve to get Ainsley through the weekend. I'm very nervous because I'm afraid she'll have a bad reaction. I don't know why I think it will go badly, just part of the neuroses I guess. So here's to keeping our fingers crossed that it all goes well!

At what point in my life will I stop feeling like a kid amongst adults?

2008-04-22T09:55:00.002-05:00

I was in a meeting last week and felt a little like, "Why would any of these people take me seriously?" Because, for some reason, eight years of experience isn't enough to feel like I have a real place in this business. Even though that's only a couple of years less than my daughter's pediatrician has been practicing medicine.

That's a trip, too, looking at a doctor's credentials, seeing that she graduated from medical school in 1998, and thinking that you don't want anything to do with a doctor that young. I had to sit back and realize she's actually been practicing for ten whole years. I guess because I can really remember 1998, it seems so not long enough ago.

And, I may have mentioned this before, there are times when I take my daughter to school and feel a bit out of place. But I'm clearly a few years older than quite a few of the moms with older kids. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that I have a daughter (who is almost a year old, by the way) and that some day she's going to be a teenager and I'm going to be the one setting rules. I guess the engineer in me can't let go of the fact that there is no itinerary.

Okay, that's all the crazy I'll share with you today.

Pls post your pdfs to the ftp by eod

2008-04-21T10:40:00.002-05:00

It just makes me laugh, how technology has changed the way we communicate.

It's things like this that make it very hard for me to not feel discriminated against.

2008-03-04T10:39:00.003-06:00

Wanting to do my civic duty, I voted today. But I don't know that they could have made it a more trying experience. And I can honestly say that it was only trying because I'm voting Democrat. No, really, had I been voting Republican, the whole thing would have been over in a jiffy.

I've never voted in a primary before, so I went to my usual voting location this morning. When I got there a nice volunteer asked if I was voting straight Republican. Of course not, Silly. Oh, well then I needed to go to another location, to which he proceeded to give me directions. Sure, no problem. The directions were simple enough. And I can probably justify why they would set up certain locations as just Republican or just Democratic. Maybe it was to streamline the whole process.

I made it to the next location in just a few minutes. When I walked up to the school, there were signs directing the Republican voters inside and a little bitty sign directing the Democrats around the corner. Hmmm. So both parties can vote at this location. I walked around the corner and there was a sign on the door directing the Republicans inside. Okay surely there's someone inside who knows where I need to go.

There was indeed a large slew of people inside waiting in lines, but no volunteers to direct me. Nor were there any indications as to which party was to go where. In the hallway were a couple of tables and voting booths, but no voters. Oops that must be where I cast my vote. Where do I check in first? A gentleman in the line from hell finally directed me to the right line ti check in. One long line to check in, another long line to vote.

Over a period of one and a half hours, I figured out the following:

There were a total of three volunteers working. Two checking people in, and one working all six voting booths and checking people in.
There were significantly more Democrats voting than Republicans. Oh, no, it just seemed that way because....
There were FOUR precints of Democrats voting at that one location. That's right, in my district there are apparently four times as many places taking votes from Republicans than Democrats.

It was very tempting to just leave. And almost equally attempting to just vote Republican, because I'd still be voting. I try really hard to give people the benefit of the doubt. I just hope that someone screwed up and didn't schedule the necessary voting locations. I'd hate to think that this happened because I'm a Democrat in a sometimes all too obviously Republican state.

Weekend Update

2008-03-03T09:11:00.005-06:00

There were some new developments over the weekend in the sleep area. Ainsley slept through the night all weekend and got some good naps in as well. More interestingly, she put herself to sleep for two naps and bedtime on Saturday and at bedtime last night. Each time I was able to rock her to sleep, but she either woke up when I laid her down or was very restless in my arms. With a quick kiss on the head and a reassuring pat, I left the room and she eventually would fall asleep - without crying. I'm trying very hard to not count my chickens, but maybe this is what she's been trying to tell me for the past couple of weeks: she's ready to fall asleep on her own.

PS I hope to be able to post some new pictures very soon. Our computer died about a month ago and we were finally able to get it fixed this weekend.

Crying? Crying! There's no crying in....parenthood?

2008-02-29T14:39:00.002-06:00

I am soooooo tired today thanks to four, count them: four, nights of Ainsley not sleeping through the night. We were blessed that she started sleeping through nights early on but it seems she saved the sleepless nights for later. And I don't handle change well. Don't know if I've mentioned that before. Especially if it doesn't fall into my plans. But that's another issue altogether.

Two days ago, I probably could have spewed forth the details of her not sleeping. For example, she slept until blah time and I did blah, blah, and blah to get her back to sleep and finally got back to bed at blah time. However, after four nights, everything is just a blur. I just wish I knew why the change in sleep habits.

I'd say I definitely subscribe to more of an attached parenting style. I love holding Ainsley. And there's nothing sweeter than holding her when she's asleep. Most of the time, I don't have a problem with rocking her to sleep. But when I don't get sleep, things get ugly. My patience wears very, very thin and the whole world is going to come to an end if I don't get back to bed in the next five minutes. The Universe rarely complies with ultimatums.

So last night at about 1 am, we decided that we would try to let her cry it out. Ugh. Worst thing ever. To hear your baby crying for you and not responding. But seriously we didn't know what else to do. This was after almost three hours of trying to get her back to bed. And she did finally go back to sleep after about 20 minutes of the worst kind of crying. But it wasn't like she thought to herself, "Hello, Mr. Sandman. Gee, it's nice of you to visit. I think I'll stop crying now and try to get some shut eye."

No, it was probably more like, "HELLO? HELLO! WHY WON'T YOU COME GET ME? I DON'T WAAAANT TO BE IN HERE ALONE. PLEASE COME HOLD ME AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. PLEASE LET ME CURL UP ON YOUR CHEST WITH MY HEAD TUCKED UNDER YOUR CHIN. I'M REAAAALLY STARTING TO GET MAD NOW. VERY FUNNY, GUYS. COME GET ME NOW. HELLO? COME ON"......snore. I can hardly feel like there was any constructive mission accomplished.

Yeah, yeah. I know, for her own good. She needs to learn to soothe herself. You need to get sleep, too. She'll survive. You have to show her who's in control. Blah. Blah. Blah.

What about all those pediatricians out there who tout that letting your baby cry it out will only teach her that what she has to say is not important? That there is usually a reason she isn't sleeping through the night. That even a baby's best laid plans don't include trying to take over the world by not letting Mom and Dad get any sleep. That not responding to her cries could cause her to lose a sense of security. Did you hear that? Not being there when she cries will only give her more ammunition during those ever so delicate adolescent years, more reasons to hate us. It does not bode well for my plans to have a mother-daughter relationship akin to the Gilmore girls.

I don't know. I really want to be that mom that can be there to hold her every time she cries (which Dr. Sears claims is not a bad thing, thank you very much). And I want to do everything I can to make sure she's the strong, self-confident, and self-reliant individual I am not. But I also know that an overtired, angry and frustrated pillow is not very comfortable.

A Day Without Baby

2008-02-26T11:59:00.002-06:00

I took a day off yesterday to get some things done that I had either been avoiding or hadn't had time. The key to yesterday's task list was no baby in tow. I felt like a bit of a heel dropping Ainsley off at school when I knew I was going to be home all day, but there's a limit to what I can do with her.

So I finally got my car serviced. It had been embarrassingly long since my last oil change. And thank goodness Ainsley wasn't with me because, well how do you entertain an eight month old at a service station? Her affinity for crawling under things probably would have tempted them to put her to work. And her lack of fear of falling into open spaces would have sent her down into the pit, no doubt. Plus my oil cap cracked when they were removing it so I was there about an hour longer while the owner drove to the nearest dealership and bought a new one - which incidentally left me sitting there long enough to decide to ask them to check my brakes; then change my brakes; then change my rotors.

The rest of my day was spent cleaning our bathroom. Really. There was minimal goofing off - you know, after I put away a full can of Pilsbury cinnamon rolls and watched The Price is Right. But after that, there were four full hours of cleaning out cabinets and drawers and scrubbing sink, toilet, and shower. A lot of chemicals were inhaled. A lot of really expired medications were consumed, I mean trashed.

So the myriad of other tasks I had hoped to accomplish didn't get done, but at least I could eat off of my bathroom sink if I wanted to. The funny thing is that I spent the whole day waiting to hear Ainsley crying over the monitor.

It's nice to know you aren't alone...

2008-02-18T11:07:00.006-06:00

An excerpt from Katie Couric's interview with Michelle Obama about something I struggle with every day. And something so many people don't really think about:

Couric: People do like to characterize people; caricature people. And they like to follow a narrative. I'm sure you've been asked this and it's sort of a hackneyed question but I'm gonna ask you anyway because I don't think you've actually articulated fully … what you … might do and if you even know at this point in time. But obviously First Ladies have adopted causes, you know, from Ladybird Johnson to Betty Ford to, you know, Barbara Bush and literacy.
Betty Ford in kind of busting taboos about breast cancer and alcohol addiction. Nancy Reagan about drugs. Have you thought about what cause you would really like to adopt and pursue and push into the forefront?
Obama: I've thought about it a lot and I get asked it a lot. But there are a lot of things that I care about. I mean, I ran … a national service program, so I care very deeply about national service. I work for an academic medical center. So I know the challenges in healthcare. I am a mother and a professional - and a wife. And I know the struggles of trying to balance work/life/family.
And I know that it's something that every woman that I know is struggling with, and every family in America is impacted by the challenges that we face when we try to do it all without resources and support … informal structures of support.
The only way that I manage every day is because of all these informal support structures in my life, whether it's my mom or a set of girlfriends or the flexibility on a job because I'm a vice president and I can set my hours when I need to. I've managed because of that. But how on earth are single-parent mothers doing it, nurses and teachers and folks who are on shifts? People who don't have access to decent childcare. You know, folks who don't have good healthcare and where the school systems aren't where they need to be so they're worried about whether their kids are getting a good education. You know, all of this takes an emotional and
psychological toll on women and families.
And the truth of the matter is that we are only as strong in this society … as the health of our families and the people who head them. But we haven't talked enough about that in just real practical ways. I mean, up until this point, as a woman, I've been told, "You can have it all, and you should be able to manage it all." And I've been losing my mind trying to live up to that. And it's impossible. It's impossible. We're putting women and families in a no-win situation.
Couric: Especially if they don't have the flexibility that you …
Obama: …which the vast majority of women in this country don't. They're not earning enough to cover childcare. They don't-- you know, I met … a woman ... she's working two jobs: a full-time job and a part-time job. She has two kids and a husband. They don't have healthcare. You know? She has a 7-year-old and a 3-year-old, you know? I mean, you know she's not healthy. You know she doesn't have time to get mammograms and Pap smears. You know that she doesn't feel secure about what kind of mother she is.
And she's not fully invested in any of the jobs that she has because she's trying to do it all. That's how women are living in this society. And that transcends race and socioeconomic status and political affiliation. I can go into any town, anywhere in this country, and I can spend hours talking to women about this impossible balance, and the toll that it's taking.
So we have to talk about that. And we have to design policies that have meaningful impacts on the quality of life of women and families. And that's something that I know I can speak passionately about because whether I'm in the White House as First Lady, as long as I have kids and I'm trying to have a life, I'm gonna be trying to make this balance work, wondering every day whether I'm being a good enough mother, whether I'm spending enough time with my kids.
What happens when they have a crisis and I'm flying around somewhere? My challenges are much more public, but they're the same as most women. And we need to figure this out. And how do we define roles for ourselves as women that are healthy and balanced and make sense?

The Universe Cuts Me Some Slack...

2008-02-08T10:14:00.000-06:00

Having a baby is expensive. Nevermind the after costs, just the having of the baby is expensive. And I was very thankful for both healthcare insurance and flexible spending accounts this past year. However, there are apparently some things that insurance won't pay for when it comes to childbirth. The majority of the out-of-pocket costs for bringing my beautiful baby girl into this world was from the cost of the hospital stay. Actually, what my insurance wouldn't pay for the room would have put us up in a very fancy hotel for the same number of nights. The charges "exceed the room and board allowance of your plan." Add to that what I already owed the hosptial for my out-patient procedures the year before and you got yourself what would have been a nice little down payment on a new car.

Back when these bills started accumulating, I did the smart thing and worked out a payment plan with the hospital. The ultimate goal was to have it all paid off in time to have the next bebe. And I (not so smartly) assumed that my new charges from Ainsley's birthin' would just roll into that payment plan - without me having to call. What followed was really a direct consequence of how bad my avoidance behavior has become since she was born: the hospital did not agree and about three weeks ago, the notices from the collection agency started arriving with little pink bows.

I finally called the collection agency, (which I had been avoiding because I didn't want to have to pay them in-full with the little money I had set aside from my last bonus because I wanted that to be part of the down-payment on a new car that we had planned on getting soon) and was presented with an offer of only paying 70% of the balance if I were to pay it within the next 72 hours.

Still, I was crushed. So disappointed in myself for letting it get this far. Sad about the huge black stripe that would forever appear on my credit. Afeared of the behind-our-backs laughs that would ensue when we finally do try to get financing for a new car and the dealership or bank pulls up my credit report. Convinced that I was being the worst parent ever for not being more responsible to ensure that we could give our kids everything they deserve. I envisioned years of monetary struggles that my daughter would have to endure in her adulthood because she had to rely on student loans and credit cards to make it through college. I called my husband crying and apologizing for ruining our lives forever.

After a couple of days, I decided that I should just pay the balance, take the deal, and get started down the seven year path required to clean up your credit report. I called the collection agency again, Lovely Denise, and we went over the terms again. I pay 70% of the balance in-full, the agency writes off the last 30%, the account goes back to the hospital as paid in full and in good standing once again. "There will never be any indication that your account was ever delinquent." Beautiful Denise. Voice like honey.

Wait, what? You mean if I make this payment now, it's like I paid the hospital outright? Nothing shows up on my credit report? I won't become one of the target demographic for those commercials you hear on the radio about the financing company that offers home loans to people who just filed bankruptcy? We won't have to go to Joe Meyers to get a new car because they don't care if you have, "No credit. Bad credit. No problem." And Denise assured me this was true.

So, I'm not sure what kind of deal I just made with the devil, but it seems the Universe was finally not reinforcing my losery feeling for once. Is this just another indication that insurance costs have driven the cost of healthcare to a point where they don't really need all that money, they just ask for it to see if they can get it?

Clouds in my coffee...

2008-02-06T16:37:00.000-06:00

This is interesting. The size of the word is based on its recurrence. So the larger the word, the more often it was mentioned.

If you had to vote based solely on these graphics, who would you vote for? Nevermind party preferences.

Me? This just reinforced my preference for Edwards and Obama. Why is Hillary's largest word "president"?

And the groundhog pokes it's head out of the ground for a brief moment....

2008-01-31T10:22:00.000-06:00

Stolen from cjh:

52 Confessions
1. The phone rings, who do you want it to be? The Husband
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Most assuredly. I can’t stand people who don’t.
3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed again, would you? There’s no sugar sweeter than that of my Baby Girl.
4. Do you take compliments well? Working on it.
5. Do you play Sudoku? Sure.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Um, eating the wrong thing would probably be what kills me.
7. If your house were on fire, what would be the first thing you would save? Baby Girl and Pets. Then Pictures. Husband can fend for himself, hopefully. (That was just one thing, right?)
8. Who was the last person you slept in the bed with? The Husband
9. Who do you text the most? If anyone, The Husband.
10. Favorite children's book? There was one about a rabbit with long ears. Wish I could remember.11. Eye color? Hazel.
12. How tall are you? 5'8"
13. If you could do it over again, start from scratch, would you? Absolutely not. Because the outcome is so sweet, why take a chance of changing that.
14. Any secret admirers? Nah.
15. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? Geez, maybe sometime last year, or the year before. It’s not nearly my favorite Corporate Italian.
16. Favorite ex? cjh – settle down, people, I meant ex-roommate.
17. Where is the furthest place you traveled? Been to Europe – France and Spain.
18. Do you like mustard? Oh, yes.
19. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? Oh, if only eating in your sleep weren’t so messy and dangerous.
21. Do you miss anyone? Yes. #20 maybe?
22. Can you do splits? Not without serious bodily harm.
23. What movie do you want to see right now? Juno. There Will Be Blood.
24. What did you do for New Year's Eve? Party at a friend’s house. Jumping on the moonwalk.
25. Do you think The Grudge was crappy? I don’t do scary movies.
26. Do you own a camera phone? Yes.
27. Was your mom a cheerleader? Mmm, don’t think so. Mom?
28. What's the last letter of your middle name? E.
29. Are you Hispanic? Not today.
31. Do you like Care Bears? I have Cheer Bear. And I’ve seen the new cartoon.
32. What do you buy at the Movies? I don’t think I ever bought anything until Husband came along. But we don’t usually buy much, if anything.
33. Do you know how to play poker? Do I!
34. Do you wear your seatbelt? Always. Always. Always.
35. What do you wear to sleep? Shirt and pajama pants. And underwear.
36. Anything big ever happen in your city? Sure.
37. Is your hair straight or curly? Straight.
38. Is your tongue pierced? No.
39. Do you like Liver and Onions? Oh, yes.
40. Do you like funny or serious people better? Funny.
41. Ever been to L.A.? No.
42. Who is on your mind right now? You are always on my mind.
43. Any plans for tonight? Cleaning. And spending time with my Jusband and Baby Girl (maybe I’m more Hispanic today than I thought)
44. What's your favorite song at the moment? “All I Need” - Radiohead
45. Do you hate chocolate? It’s not my favorite. Though I do consume significantly more now than before The Husband.
46. What do you and your parents fight about the most? That’s long gone.
47. Are you a gullible person? Sometimes.
48. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? No, my husband makes me happy enough.
49. If you could have any job what would it be? One where I could spend more time with Baby Girl. And take lots of pictures.
50. Are you easy to get along with? Yeah. Too easy, maybe.
51. What is your favorite time of day? Early evening.
52. Are you generally a happy person? Sure.

Feed me, Seymour!

2007-11-26T12:13:00.000-06:00

Hopefully this will work for everyone. We started Ainsley on cereal last nite. She is going through a growth spurt and I can't keep up with her. She got very excited this past weekend watching one of her cousins eat so we figured it was about time to try. In case you can't tell, she is very excited about the whole thing.

What to Do?

2007-11-15T12:05:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is my company's annual Thanksgiving luncheon. And, whereas we used to be volunteered to bring side dishes, several years ago my company decided to provide all of the dinner and we would just bring desserts - if we so chose. And, in full holiday spirit, there had to be a competition between those desserts brought. A panel of judges chosen by our office manager samples each entry and they decide on the top three.

Through some unforeseen fortune, I have placed the last two years. In 2005, I baked a simple, yet delectable carrot cake with cream cheese icing and lost to some chocolate cake on steroids. In 2006, I made tres leches (a.k.a. dessert crack) and lost to... JELLO CAKE. I don't mean to sound pretentious, but really? Jello cake over tres leches? Clearly, this guy played the nostalgia card because, come on, it's jello cake, people.

But this year I am at a total loss. The last two weeks have been harrowing what with Ainsley being sick. Consequently, she is no longer sleeping through the night and I am exhausted. So I haven't had much time to peruse my cookbooks and magazines for an ideal dessert. Until this morning, I had almost decided to just bow out this year, but then I found out the prizes are $100, $75, and $50 American Express gift certificates. Immediately I'm thinking, wow that would be great Christmas money or cash toward the camera I've been drooling over.

Any suggestions that won't take me all night to make? Does bread pudding seem like it could be a winner?

Problem Solved

2007-11-06T09:06:00.000-06:00

So, I think we effectively eliminated our squirrel problem. What do you think? Not too drastic I hope.

Before:
After:

Though this happened almost two months ago, it still saddens me. Especially when I see pictures of how beautiful it was before.

The land behind us is owned by the school district, which is one of the reasons we bought this lot. We knew there wasn't going to be a convenience store behind us some day and we wouldn't have to look into someone else's home. We were also told when we bought that there was a 40 foot drainage easment behind our fence. So we were sure they would leave some of the trees. But apparently, parking issues make it okay to change the 40 foot easement to a 10 foot easement thereby requiring the destruction of all the trees. Ugh!

So, yes, we have effectively eliminated our squirrel problem. As well as our bunny problem. Damn bunnies. Hopping around our yard. Eating our grass. Being all cute and stuff. Gah!

Rainbow Connection

2007-11-02T08:00:00.000-06:00

It was bound to happen eventually, I suppose. Still, it's neat to see. Nevermind that the top two are out of order.

And in case you aren't as big a freak as I am, they are in rainbow order - almost.

Happy Halloween! Pt 2

2007-11-01T08:54:00.000-06:00

Here's our Little Pumpkin! Though we did not go out to Trick or Treat, we stayed in and handed out the candy to lots and lots and lots of kids. It was nice to see big groups of parents and kids out together.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T11:07:00.000-06:00

I'll post pictures of her in her costume tomorrow.

Ten on Tuesday (2)

2007-10-23T13:16:00.000-05:00

It would be difficult to post a list of 10 websites that everyone else doesn't already know about. So, how about a Mommy list of websites - because I'm not trying as hard as I should be to keep this from turning into a Mommy blog...

Clearblue Easy - To help you get there.
American Pregnancy Association - Answers to a lot of questions you may have.
Medela - Good breastfeeding information.
Baby Bargains - To help you figure out what you need.
Ask Dr. Sears - Answers to a lot of questions after the little one has arrived.
diapers.com - Good prices on diapers and free shipping over $50.
Drugstore.com - Prices are just as good as in local stores, and free shipping over $50.
CPSC - Because, unfortunately it's something to keep in mind these days.
The Grocery Game - Because who doesn't like free stuff?
Shutterfly - To share and store your digital pix. And if you order enough in one shipping, prices are better than your local drug store.

Seamstress for Hire

2007-10-03T09:52:00.000-05:00

The pump I'm using is a hospital grade one and it comes in this humongous hard gray case. I am currently lugging it into the office on a daily basis until I can come up with another storage solution. One woman commented that at first glance she thought it was a booster seat. Okay, sure I can almost see that. A gentleman asked me if it was a bomb - in jest of course. I replied, "No, not a bomb." But the best was the other morning:

Man: Is that a sewing machine?
Me: No, it's a breast pump.
Man (with look of almost horror): Oh.
Long pause....
Man: 'Cause I need some sewing done.

Ten on Tuesday (1)

2007-10-02T09:57:00.000-05:00

10 Television Shows I'd Like to (or Have Already) on DVD:

Gilmore Girls - If only because I still have never seen Season 1.
Northern Exposure - I got back into this during maternity leave.
Friends - Have you ever noticed that their apartment numbers change after Season 1?
Muppet Babies - I'd like to share this with my kids.
The Office - Already have.
Ugly Betty - I've seen a few and would like to see more.
Fraggle Rock - Never got to see this growing up because we didn't have cable.
Bill Nye the Science Guy - Three words: nake mole rats (maybe it should only be two).
Twin Peaks - I, too, would like to see this as an adult.
30 Rock - I love, love, love Tina Fey and this show is funny.

Favorite Things: Months One to Four

2007-09-25T10:15:00.000-05:00

Here are some of the things I have relied upon over the last 16 weeks of Motherhood - gee, has it only been 16 weeks?

Being a first time mom, there is so much I don't know and this book has been very helpful.
I like Lansinoh's breast pads the best. They seem to absorb more and wear better over the course of a day.
I registered for this bouncy seat at my cousin's suggestion and it has been an accessory I couldn't have done without. It's very portable and supports even a little baby's head well. I've even gotten her to take a nap in it a few times. She didn't show much interest in the detachable toy until a few weeks ago but loves it now. They come in a variety of themes and colors.
I also highly recommend a swing. Ours was a hand-me-down so I can't suggest a brand. Just make sure you note whether it's battery powered, wind-up, or plug-in and consider each option. Of course, some babies hate the swing, so you may want to borrow one first.
Mylicon Gas Drops = Liquid Gold. We bought our first bottle a couple of days after we got home from the hospital. And my husband's aunt swears they should send you home with a bottle. A couple of ounces of sugarwater (3T. to 1c. water) will get you the same results most times, but it's not as portable.
Ainsley also loves her playmat. She started out just talking to the animals. Then learned to grab them. Then kick them. And now they go straight into her mouth. The mat is washable so you can occasionally remove the slobber and spit-up stains. Now if we could just find a location for it in the living room where she can't see the t.v.
We use this bathtub. It comes with a sling so they don't have to sit in the water all the way at first. And it fits perfectly into one side of our kitchen sink. Be careful though because if you use it in the big bathtub, the water can get pretty high.
A lot of people recommended the gowns for her to sleep in, but we prefer the footed pajamas or jumpsuits. There was just too much of a struggle trying to get a newborn into those long sleeves.
We swaddled Ainsley blanket-style for a while but when she started to get more active, she'd just wriggle out of the blanket. So we started using the SwaddleMe wraps. Those worked great until she got active enough to kick out of those, too, velcro be damned.
If your baby will take a pacifier, there can't be an easier way to take her temperature than with this.
I highly recommend keeping Baby close by at night for the first few weeks. And this Graco Pak 'n Play was ideal. It fit into our bedroom and had a little changing table attached. The mobile doesn't move, but it does have a vibration feature that's nice. My only complaint is that everything except the mobile and changing table bundles up into a neat carrying case.
We also had a smaller version in the living room downstairs which we use on trips.
Finally, there were days when I could only get her to nap in the Boppy - completely supervised, of course. And for those times when you have to hold her for a long period of time, it's a treasure.

Just remember every baby is different and these things may not work for you. I'm not sure how anyone ever raised a baby without them.

Fin

2007-09-12T08:44:00.000-05:00

So sad. Suddenly, last nite was the series finale of one of my all-time favorite shows: Gilmore Girls. Of course, if I were a bigger fan I probably should have known that it was going to be the series finale. But I'll use Ainsley as an excuse once again. And the fact that we don't really watch that station other than to see Gilmore Girls.

I was half-watching it - which is the most I can do these days until Ainsley is in bed - and about half way through began to get very suspicious that this was going to be the series finale. Rory had just graduated from Yale and suddenly got a job as a political reporter to be touring with Obama's campaign. That's pretty big. How were they going to bring her back from that to continue the story line? Hmmm.

The next clue was when Rory and Loralei discussed Loralei's "relationship" with Luke. Usually, that is the elephant-in-the-room topic that underlies every great show. You know, the ultimate goal of the show that the writers tease their viewership with like a carrot dangling in front of the horse.

Then the big Bon Voyage party for Rory where the camera pans slowly around the crowd and you notice a few characters that haven't been on the show for a while. Wait a minute, what's going on here? Could this be it? But they haven't actually solved the Luke and Loralei issue...oh, they just did. Crap. Maaaaan! Poop! Sigh

No reason to look forward to Tuesday nites anymore. No more witty reparte. Ironic that this comes on the heels of my recent obsession with the program. I started watching it in syndication whilst on maternity leave. And have recently started watching the two seasons I have on dvd, which I have owned for over three years and had not yet opened. I get a nightly fix during Ainsley's last feeding of the nite and while pumping milk for the next day.

So Bon Voyage indeed, Gilmore Girls. You've earned a spot on my list of favorite shows next to Northern Exposure and West Wing.

Solicitation

2007-08-06T05:58:00.001-05:00

I've mentioned before that Ainsley doesn't really sleep during the day. She's a champ at sleeping through the night already, for which we are extremely lucky and grateful. However, we feel like she should really be taking some naps during the day that do not require us to be holding her.

I've been reading this book and it has taught us that we should be keeping her wakefulness to one to two hours maximum. And I know now that when she starts yawning, she's getting tired and it's time to work on getting her to sleep. Usually, getting her to sleep is not a problem. But after we lay her down, she'll usually wake up once she shifts from her quiet sleep phase to her active sleep phase - which is only about 30 minutes - and sometimes she doesn't even sleep that long. I have tried to adhere to her "schedule". The problem with that is she doesn't seem to have one. And at the end of a bad sleep day, I feel like I'm being held hostage.

Where the book kind of confuses me is regarding naps. Most of it really addresses night sleep problems, which we aren't having. I'm not sure if I need to start sleep training her now (e.g., cry it out) or if this will work itself out soon.

So, I'm soliciting your advice. Any at all.

Cirque du Squirrel-a

2007-08-01T10:05:00.000-05:00

(The Boss is sleeping and I have a bit of time to catch up on posting. Can you tell?)

Okay, I've come to expect this:

In spite of the fact that we removed the bird feeder from the hanger on the tree and put it on a shepherd's hook, they still have learned to shimmy up the pole and wipe out all the bird seed in one day.

However, I never expected to see this:

Do you see? Do you see that the squirrel is drinking out of the HUMMINGBIRD feeder?!? He apparently didn't get the memo that the feeder is reserved for those who are typically less than three inches in length and flap their wings hundreds of times a second and are equipped with a long skinny beak with which to extract the sugar water from this feeder. I have witness this squirrel removing the little cover from the "flower" and licking it completely dry before dropping it on the ground and moving to the next "flower". So now not only do our regular birds have limited food source from our yard, the humming birds do as well. Gah!

And, no, that is not a flying squirrel. I know you were thinking it.

Clarifications

2007-08-01T09:51:00.000-05:00

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words in regards to my NMM#157. I've learned that, in this motherhood thing, it really helps to know what others have gone through. And that what I'm feeling is not new. Nor does it make me crazy.

I want to point out that I have not been doing this on my own thus far. Both my MIL and Stepmother have been wonderful about assisting in the care of my household and child. Any anxiety I am feeling about having to do all these things on my own is a direct result of my desire to be independent and to be "SuperMom". And to not impose. Really, I think that's the root of the problem there: I don't want to impose.

I don't want to impose on MIL or Stepmom by asking for their help. I don't want to impose on Husband by asking him to help. Or having a fussy baby every evening when he comes home. I fret about what Ainsley's sleep habits are going to be like once I have to send her to daycare because it might be an imposition on the employees. That I'm paying to take care of my child. To whom I will be instructed to give a schedule to so they can kindly follow her established schedule. I don't want to impose on the other patrons of a given department store or grocery store so that I can get some much needed shopping done. I wouldn't even want to impose on those of you who have offered your help and even given phone numbers!

And the list goes on. Now there's no reason to believe that any of these people have felt imposed. Actually, they all (except for the other patrons) have offered to help. So the hang-up remains mine. Something I'm slowly learning to deal with.

The other clarification is that Husband has really been a huge help. I don't want to make it sound like he's just sitting around on his bum watching me go through all of this with a beer and a bag of popcorn. I certainly would not have made it to this point without him. Truthfully, I'd still be carrying her around in my belly if it weren't for him. So he is my Knight in Shining Armor, don't doubt that.

Again, all this anxiety is self-imposed. So maybe I need to be more concerned with imposing on myself and take some of those helping hands so many are offering.

Makeup Lesson

2007-08-01T09:48:00.000-05:00

As heard by my stepmother, to her friend, from a local morning show coordinator:

Coordinator: Who does your makeup?
Friend: I do.
Coordinator: Girl, you paint like a drag queen!

New Mother Meltdown #157

2007-07-26T09:26:00.000-05:00

Begin Day Number Two where Ainsley refuses to nap anywhere except in my arms. Actually, I should clarify, thats day two as in two-in-a-row. There have been many, many, many others. I was okay with it yesterday but today is my Shower Day (that is still only occurring every other day) and we are going out of town tomorrow so I need to get other things done. But this really has nothing to do with my most recent meltdown.

Whereas yesterday was an above average day (one which I told Tim (as I sit here and listen to the garbage truck wake up my daughter) (yeah, that's right, I'm using parentheses within parentheses) I wish was an average day - as in the norm), Tuesday was definitely a below average day. Ainsley woke at her usual 4am feeding, but I was unable to get her to go back to sleep until 6am. Then she stirred and grunted and woke up again. I scooped her back up, cursing under my breath because I just wanted more sleep, please. And I didn't want Tim to wake up because he had to get up in 30 minutes and aren't we all a little cranky when we don't get as much sleep as we wanted? He did wake, though, and offered to take her, but my stubbornness and desire to let him sleep took over and I walked out of the room to rock her in her room - she is still sleeping in the Pak 'n Play in our room.

Enter the Guilt. Why am I being so selfish? Why can't it just be okay that I need to rock her to sleep again after an hour and a half of rocking her previously? Oh, crappy feelings. She did go to sleep though. So I laid her down. And I lay down. And I began to cry. Guilt, guilt, guilt.

Being a Good Mother does not mean wanting time away to myself. Being a Good Mother means not minding that it's Tuesday and I haven't showered since Saturday. Being a Good Mother means not minding that I am going to spend the rest of the day rocking her to sleep only to have her scream and scream and scream because she's determined to kick the Sandman's ass.

Ainsley and I cried on each other's shoulder that day. What the hell did I get myself into? This poor girl deserves someone with more patience than I have to give. She does not deserve to be put in her bouncer with no pacifier because that will make her scream more and then she'll learn her lesson. Yeah, how do you like that? I don't have the throw your baby out the window thoughts. Mine are more of the mind game sort. Because, you know, at six weeks she'd totally get the moral of the story, right?

And the Guilt just grows. What kind of person have I become? Why do I seemingly have more patience for my cats than my own daughter (in hindsight, this is not necessarily true)? I should ask for help. But I don't want help. I want to be able to do this on my own. How weak am I that I cannot do this on my own? I am not fit to be raising a daughter. How can I teach her to be strong when I can't even be strong? On and on and on and on.

Tim finally calls - not that he hadn't several times that day, I'm sure knowing that things are not going well. But my stubborness refuses to talk to him about it. It's much more productive to be bitchy and sullen when he calls. Anyway, he finally calls at a time when I'm ready to talk. And the gates open; the the River Nile begins to flow. As usual, he is able to remove the uranium from the reactor core before the whole plant goes up in flames leaving death and destruction within a 100 mile radius (wow, that was an awful metaphor).

Point is that as with the first 156 meltdowns, he was able to calm me down and make me feel better. This is not the end of the world. I am being a good mother, I just need a well deserved break. It's okay to need a break. To be completely submerged in the care of another being with the communication skills of, well, a six week old is not an easy job.

I don't write this to prove that I am unstable, or to elicit help because I am too stubborn to ask for it (though that is completely true), or to use in a CPS case against me. But to say this isn't an easy thing. AT. ALL. There are some very rewarding smiles and giggles. And when she's finally asleep in my arms and everything is limp because she is so comfortable and secure. And when she just stares back at me trying to figure out who I am just as I wonder about her. But there are also some very dark times. I never wonder if it's worth it, just if I will survive it. And I will. I will survive.

Playing Around

2007-07-25T10:38:00.000-05:00

I'm playing with some new ideas for my blog. So everything may change frequently (or infrequently depending on how much time my new boss will allow me) as I try out new stuff.

Newsletter: Week Six

2007-07-23T13:24:00.000-05:00

(I'm stealing this idea from dooce though I doubt she'll feel threatened in any way due to my lack of writing panache - oh, and the fact that she doesn't even know that I'm stealing her idea.)

My Dearest Ainsley-Bear,

The last five weeks have been a roller coaster ride. I knew going into this parenthood thing that it wouldn't be easy. But like everything else I do, I expect the results to be extraordinary and when they aren't, I want to run and hide. Thankfully, your father excels at calming me down and keeping me from hopping the next flight to Anywhere Else.

Since I haven't journaled until now, let's take a look back...

I wouldn't say you arrived in a whirlwind - after all there were 17 long hours of labor. But you did decide to make your appearance without much warning to the rest of us. I mean you could have at least called or sent a postcard. Gah! You chose the date, June 9th, that your daddy had predicted you would arrive on, proving to me that he already has more influence on you than I do. I don't suspect that will change anytime soon.

He was also right in predicting that you would have lots of hair when you arrived. And how big you'd be. I suppose I should be thankful that you showed up early. I cringe at the thought of how much bigger you'd be if you had waited until the following Thursday, when I was supposed to be induced. As for that nutritionist that told me early on that I wasn't getting enough calories... have you seen this baby? I mean she's frickin' 'uge. Granny Comardo says you look like a three month old.

And there seems to be no stopping this growing thing, either. I'm already having to set aside clothing that you can no longer fit into. I can't see your adorable feet (monkey toes!) as well when I'm nursing you any more and I used to love to rub them while you ate. I'm sure in twenty years, your going to wonder why you crave a milkshake every time you get a pedicure.

You're finally starting to get on some sort of sleeping pattern - at night at least. Currently, our days usually begin at 4am with a feeding and an easy rock-back-to-sleep (oh, merciful Ainsley!) and end at about 10 pm. We wrap up the day with a massage and a bath, a story if you're in the mood and a late nite snack. You love your massage and baths. And you love being naked. Heh.

Within the last few days, you've finally started laughing and smiling at me. Heretofore, you had reserved those glimpses of glorious gumminess for Everyone Else But Me, including the shelf above your dressing table (Best Shelf Ever - hanging there waiting to hold things up if your procrastinacious mother would ever put anything on it). And your "vocabulary" is beginning to extend beyond the pterodactyl-like screeches you started out with.

I am completely obsessed with your wonderful feet. And your monkey toes with which you already have more dexterity than I do mine.

And the way you sometimes "sing" in your sleep. And how sometimes when I pick you up to put you on my shoulder, you are stretching your arms overhead, arching your back, and scrunching up your legs.

After spending months and months in the womb sleeping on your left side (which I now understand was because you wouldn't fit any other way), you seemed to have developed an affinity for looking to your left. Though we know you are capable of turning the other way, we were temporarily concerned that, in some Zoolander-esque way you would have to spend the rest of your life only possessing the capability of turning left. What kind of job could you get then? NASCAR? Ugh!

There are a number of things over the last six weeks that you've done, or haven't done, that undermined any confidence I ever might have had in my ability to be a good mother. Mostly they involve your sleeping and eating patterns. But they have been a joyous six weeks that are nothing like anything I have ever experienced, or ever will again. And I look forward to figuring out this parent-child relationship together.

Love,
Mama

When I See You Smile....

2007-06-18T18:45:00.001-05:00

Here she is! Our beautiful new baby girl who is now nine days old.

She was born last Saturday, June 9th, 2007 at 11:30 a.m. after about 17 hours of labor. She weighed in at a meager (hah!) 9 lbs. 13 oz and was about 20.5 inches long. I totally blame my husband's genes for her size, by the way. She's almost the spitting image of several of his family members, especially his mom.

And she's really a very good baby. Until the night before last, I was having to wake her up every three hours to feed her. Now she seems to be on the three hour schedule, when she's not cluster feeding for four or five hours at a time.

Okay, here's the long and short of it....

Thursday, June 7th, I had a doctor's appointment. No real progress. I was about 2cm dialated, there was some effacement, but nothing to get excited about. I almost cried when we left, I was so disappointed. I just didn't know how long I could continue to go to work and act like we weren't on the verge of one of the most exciting events in our lives. It's hard not knowing when.

The doctor sent me away with a Tuesday appointment for an ultrasound (do you think she suspected the baby was large?) and a Thursday appointment for induction.

Friday, June 8th, I finally broke down and admitted that I couldn't drag myself to work anymore. So I spread the word and told my boss that I was most likely not coming back to work the following week, even if I hadn't had the baby. It was just too hard. Plus, my immediate boss had left the country a couple of days before for a family emergency and I really had nothing to do.

I left around 2:30 to go deposit my last paycheck for a while and run a couple of errands. Husband and I had plans for some last minute activities over the weekend and were looking forward to what was our last weekend as a couple. The weather was getting bad so Husband asked me to come home and we could finish errands the next day.

We chilled on the couch for a while and watched t.v. Once we decided it was time for dinner, I went upstairs to change. Whoosh! It was about 6:30 p.m.

"Um, okay, I know I've had issues with bladder control a couple of times recently, but that was strange. Husband, it's very possible that my water just broke."

I laid down for a few minutes because I'd read that sometimes the baby's head can work as a cork if you are standing or sitting. After about 10 minutes, I got up again and whoosh! Yep, water just broke. Meanwhile, Husband had already started loading the car, just in case. So we gathered everything up, fed the cats and went on our way to the hospital.

Initially, they put us in triage so they could verify that I was, in fact, in labor. Once the nurse verfied that my water had broken, they admitted me and put us in a labor and delivery room. I guess that was around 8 p.m. by the time we got settled in there. Let me just say that all the books I had read talked about being able to walk around and all the different laboring positions you could do to get through the contractions. It's really hard to do any of that when you're hooked up to three different machines. I was a bit annoyed. But the rules may be different if your water has already broken.

I tried so hard to be a trooper and go au naturale. But I finally admitted defeat and got the epidural. I wasn't able to relax through the contractions and I think that was making them worse. In hind sight, I don't think I could have made through the next 12 hours without it anyway.

Truth be told, I was still in a lot of pain. Apparently, the epidural was positioned so that it was feeding most of the medication to the left side of my body. Within a couple of hours, my left leg was completely numb but I could still feel the contractions in my lower right back. However, it was still better than before the epidural. Full relief finally came after the next shift change at 7 a.m. The anesthesiologist gave me a "blast" of medication that knocked the rest of the pain out.

The whole thing is becoming more and more of a blur - must be my coping mechanism kicking in. Though overall, it wasn't all that bad. Just uncomfortable. And I definitely couldn't have made it through without my husband. There were several times during the last hour-and-a-half of pushing that I wanted to give up completely. But he wouldn't let me.

For the longest time I was at 9.5cm with not much progress. And she didn't decide to rotate until the last minute - unfortunately she decided to rotate the wrong way. On top of trying to push out an almost 10 lb. baby, she was sunny-side up. The doctor's comment once the baby "popped" her head out was, "No wonder the delivery was so difficult!"

Oh, and it would be nice if they could develop some silent scissors for these situations, because all the snipping was very disturbing. I'm still not sure what "stage 3" means but all the nurses had to comment.

Anyway, the only other complication was that sometime between my water breaking and the delivery, the ended up being meconium in the ambiotic fluid. So they whisked her away pretty quickly to make sure everything was working right. All was/is good. And no signs of diabetes, which is apparently a concern with big babies.

And would you believe that my in-laws and dad and step-mom were there in the waiting room for the whole thing?

I'll leave you with our first family picture. And more pictures can be found here.

Still here...

2007-06-07T13:47:00.000-05:00

Just letting everyone know that I am still waiting. I have a doctor appointment this afternoon, so send good thoughts our way that there has been progress and this baby will be here before Monday! I just can't wait to meet her any longer!

New Pix...

2007-06-05T09:20:00.000-05:00

...of the nursery can be found here. There are still a couple of minor things to do - like hang the comforter and the bumper's not in the crib yet and the rocking chair is still at Papa's. Husband did the bookshelf decorating. Such good taste.

Still here...

2007-06-04T09:43:00.001-05:00

...and waiting. No real signs yet, and I'm trying to not grasp at straws. Coming to work is no fun. I got two, "You're still here?"'s today already. Ugh.

Maybe she's waiting until I have my To Do list done. Does that make me work any faster? No. I got two major things done this weekend though: shelf from which the comforter will hang is painted and I am almost done "correcting" the tie locations on the crib bumper (which has been much harder to do than I thought).

We bought the stand for the moses basket we will eventually get (it's on order). And, of course, we were told in the store that they couldn't open the box for us to see the finish because then they can't re-sell an open box. As we were walking out, we noticed that the box actually was already open. Ignoring my gut feel as usual, we took it home only for Husband to find out that one of the pieces is incorrect. So it needs to be exchanged.

Still to do:
1. Finish thank you notes (only 5 more to do, but they all need to be mailed).
2. Finish shelf for comforter (drawer pulls and tabs on comforter).
3. Fix the 6 sheets that don't exactly fit our crib mattress.
4. Fix ventilation fan in our bathroom so I can clean it.

That's not too bad...

Thanks for all your well wishes. I'll keep you posted.

Fun Food Find...

2007-05-30T16:20:00.000-05:00

Don't have a heart attack - two posts in one day!!

Many people know that I enjoy cooking, though I haven't been doing it as much over the past few months as I would like to. It's hard to find that balance between working and cooking that doesn't mean we're eating at 8:30 at nite. It is also a well know fact that 99% of what I cook comes from Cooking Light magazine. I rarely have a bad recipe experience with them. And I've been collecting and perusing the magazine for enough years (since 1998) that I can read a recipe and judge how easy it will be to cook and whether or not it's a reasonable week-night meal.

For a while now, I've been wanting to publish a list of my favorite recipe finds from the mag, but haven't gotten a chance to. Yeah, still not happening. However, I would like to share this recipe because it's very easy and was a big hit with me and Husband. So check it out and give a whirl:

Sausage and Spinach Soup

One of the online reviews suggested that if you want to use dried herbs, add them with the tomatoes so they have time to release flavor into the soup. I bought a 19 oz package of sausage and just used three of the five links. And I don't like huge chunks of cooked tomato (any chunks of cooked tomato are an accomplishment for me) so I cut up the stewed tomatoes, but you could also run them through a blender or food processor.

Let me know if you try it out!

Playing the Waiting Game...

2007-05-30T08:43:00.001-05:00

With less than two weeks to go, I'm getting a little anxious. Mostly just because I don't want to come to work anymore. It seems a little trivial at this point. I have more important things to do. Like spend lots of time cuddling a new baby girl.

Thanks to lots of help from my MIL and stepmom and husband, the nursery is more-or-less done. A few small things left to do. I'll try, try, try to remember to take some pix and get them posted. It's great! And, officially, is the only room in the house that is fully decorated. Sadly.

My belly is huge and I'm growing out of my maternity clothes. A number of my shirts are not long enough anymore to cover my underbelly. So, I'm a little vulgar.

My last doctor's appointment indicated that she's moving into position (On your mark!) and I'm starting to efface (Get set!). We'll see what the doctor says tomorrow. I've convinced myself that she's going to be early - like the end of the week possibly. Understanding that that may not be the case, I'm trying to refocus my thoughts on the due date. Otherwise next week is going to be very difficult.

Where was I?

2007-05-08T08:49:00.000-05:00

My husband and I were watching Pretty in Pink this weekend and commenting on the fact that the clothes in the 80's were soooo bad. Wow. When that fashion phase rolls around again, I hope I have the good sense not to join in. But they always sneak that stuff in, little by little, until suddenly everyone looks awful. Anyway, this is not the point of my post.

First, I don't know why I did not see this movie when it came out. Nor can I say that I saw it before my college years. I'm pretty certain of this since, as I was watching, I felt like I really missed out on a great opportunity for not having seen this before my senior year in high school. I was in a very similar situation, see. And had I seen this movie, I would have admired Molly's character for being brave enough to say, "Screw 'em all!" and attend prom solo. But instead, I accepted a date with someone I didn't really know or particularly care for and ended up having a terrible time at prom. I was home by 12:30 am when, for the first time in my life, my curfew was something much much much later. Poop.

Just a couple of quick comments to clarify, though. I was not passed up for the "ideal" prom date because of class warfare. I believe the reasoning had more to do with the different circles of people that we ran with - his being more of the party-popular rather than the smart, a-little-less-popular-but-still-really-cool group - and he (or maybe his friends) were concerned they wouldn't have as much fun with an "outsider". I was also not known for being the most outgoing, or going-out, type of person either, so I can't say I completely blame them/him. Still, there's a tiny scar.**

Also, I would not have been bold enough to concoct that "totally rad" prom dress from the scraps of others. Never mind that I have no sewing skills. That was pretty bold. Which brings me to my next question (or is it my first?): was that dress awesome when the movie came out? I clearly didn't see it at the height of it's popularity, so I don't recall what fashion was like then (except bad - but we've had that discussion already). And I've always wondered if it was as kick-ass as it's supposed to seem.

The other realization I had, thanks to my husband, was that Ducky is the guy from Two-and-a-Half Men. Apparently those 80's actors age like fine wine. They just had to lay low for 20 years and, suddenly, they're all over the place again.

**Let me just say that had he taken the time to really get to know me, he would have found out that I'm a really awesome dork who is a lot of fun to hang out with. I just hadn't been given the chance to come out of my shell yet.

Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Movies

2007-04-30T14:50:00.000-05:00

These are in no particular order:

1. Ella Enchanted - mainly for the one scene where Ella (Anne Hathaway) sings Queen's Somebody to Love. That girl can sing.

2. Stepmom - I saw this with my roommate in college. Very good movie then. Very good now. Everytime it comes on t.v., I have to watch it. Favorite part: the shushing.

3. Bring it On - yeah, I know. Having been on the drill team in high school, dance and cheerleading competitions still catch my eye from time-to-time. But really, it's all for the spirit fingers.

4. National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation - second favorite Vacation movie (to Christmas Vacation). I'm entertained by Mr. Papagiorgio. The quote that sticks in my craw for some crazy reason, "I do not require them."

5. Strictly Ballroom - independent Australian film. It really isn't all that great. The plot line is quite predictable. It must be the dancing thing again. And the fact that my naive self is fascinated with the existence of flamenco dancing in Australia. Really?

6. Muriel's Wedding- quite possibly the big screen debut for Toni Collete. Another independent Australian moving that may have come out at about the same time as Strictly Ballroom. The whole soundtrack is by Abba. What's not to like about that? Or the talent show scene. Or the whole coming-of-age storyline.

7. Connie and Carla - Great movie! It drives my husband crazy that I have to watch this every time it comes on. For you X-Files fans, David Duchovny is in it, too. Plus, show tunes and transvestites. Again, what's not to love.

8. Finding Nemo - There's, "Sharkbait, hoo haha!" and "Just keep swimming" and the turtles and whalespeak. It's one of those have-to-watch-it-on-t.v.-even-though-I-own-it movies.

9. Legally Blonde - Reese Witherspoon is just too cute to pass up. And the underlying message that (cute) blondes can be smart, too. I haven't seen the sequel yet, the disgusted looks I get from my husband for watching the first one are bad enough.

10. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle - I really feel guilty for this one, because this really is a guy movie, but I find it entertaining none-the-less. It's so off the wall. And since NPH's announcement a few months ago, it has become even more entertaining for reasons I can't convey on this PG blog. It's not something to watch with your parents or your kids. And there is a lot of sexual content - though nowhere near as bad as the unrated version of Team America.

Remember now that these are "Guilty Pleasure" movies, so don't judge me. Really. Stop right now. You have them, too.

She's Big and Round(er)...

2007-04-25T08:12:00.000-05:00

I keep forgetting to update my belly measurements but rest assured that the belly has gotten quite a bit bigger. cjh, I think that ticker is pretty accurate because I seem to be expanding overnite which means Baby Girl is, too. There are times when I can't even lean over because she's trying to stretch out. Kind of like a girdle would feel, I suppose. And, I'm certain she would be doing sommersaults if there was enough room. That's one thing the ticker doesn't illustrate well, there is not that much room in my belly.

I have posted some new belly pics. You may notice how limited my pregnancy wardrobe really is. And the excessive hair will be gone tomorrow.

And some progress photos of the nursery... well, just painting so far. I don't have finished photos yet. Check back in a couple of days.

Up Next: Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Films

There Are No Words...

2007-04-18T13:05:00.000-05:00

Someone asked me yesterday if pregnanacy is anything like I'd imagined it. I didn't know how to answer. How could I have know the fascination I would have with this person growing inside of me?

I worry (only slightly) that she will be completely desensitized because every time she presses up against my belly, I press back. I'm constantly rubbing my belly and trying to determine what body part is where. And more evenings than I'd like to admit, my shirt is hiked up over my ever-growing, basketball shaped belly so I can watch the movements and try to spot a foot or fingers or some other teeny appendage.

I know only that I have no idea how this person is going to affect our life. Countless times we have been told that you can know no greater love than that which you have for your child(ren). I don't doubt that. And I've attempted to "prepare" myself for that feeling - as much as any one person can anyway.

It's scary to think how much our life/lives are about to change. I think my husband and I were very happy with our lives the way they were before I got pregnant. And had some greater power not intervened, I don't know if we might have made the conscious decision to change that so soon.

But we are both looking forward to this new adventure. And judging from the past eight months, I think facing this new phase of our life together will be more fun (and more challenging) than anything else we've ever done before.

Okay! Okay!

2007-04-17T09:42:00.000-05:00

I chose a ticker. Almost unanimously the creepier of the two, but I felt it the most fascinating and appropriate. So, there ya go!

And I updated my blogroll. Check out the new sites, but be aware that one of the main functions of that list is accessibility for me. I can just click on all of them from my homepage. I find the majority of them quite entertaining, but the jury's still out on some of them. And at least one is not for the weak of heart. Caveat Clicker.

Options...

2007-04-11T14:12:00.000-05:00

Which ticker do you like best? The one at the right is kinda cool because the baby changes as it "develops". But that also makes it kinda' creepy.

Weekend Update*

2007-04-03T08:45:00.000-05:00

Husband and I had a very busy, and very fruitful, weekend. We had our first shower in CS and everyone was soooo generous. It always amazes me that people who barely know us can be so darn generous and caring. We are very thankful for that and I remind myself constantly how blessed we are in that respect.

Baby Girl is going to be very well dressed. Sooo many cute outfits. Katielady was right when she told me I probably wouldn't need to register for many clothes. Who doesn't like buying little girl outfits?

One of the most interesting things we got was a five foot giraffe. No, not five-footed, 5 foot tall! No kidding. Courtesy of Husband's mom. I'll have to take a picture and post it. Very nice addition to our safari themed nursery.

My dad and stepmom also came to the shower. Beforehand I was able to visit with my dad about my bad review at work and he made me feel better about the whole thing. Most of what he told me was the same stuff my husband had been telling me, but since Dad is in a management position I needed his take on things. So my plan now is to let them know what my limits and expectations are for my job and if they can't work with that, then it will be time to re-evaluate.

We also took yesterday to visit some day care centers since we need to get on a waiting list pdq. We only visited two, but they are both quite nice and comparably priced, so we just have to make a decision now. I can't say that I'm any more thrilled at having to leave her with someone else at such a young age, but right now I don't know what other options we have.

*Where's that hottie Tina Fey when you need her?

Messages from the Universe...

2007-03-30T07:39:00.000-06:00

In accordance with tigger's philosophies, I'm beginning to think the Universe is trying to send me a message.

Yesterday, our marketing director came by and asked if I wanted to go to a charity luncheon. Being the social butterfly that I am (ha!), I immediately started to try to back out of it politely and told her that if she was unable to fill the table, let me know and I'd go. Then I started thinking about it: 1.) I didn't bring my lunch and would, therefore, be forced to actually buy lunch; 2.) getting out of the office for a few hourse would definitely make the day go by faster; 3.) I could actually get paid for eating lunch today (that's never a bad deal). So, I let her know that I would definitely go. I think part of the panic was that I thought I was going by myself, which is ridiculous, O-Foggy-Brained-One.

The luncheon was for the Christus Foundation for Healthcare - which used to be St. Joseph's for those of you from H-town. And it was at the River Oaks Country Club. For those of you not from H-town, it is the Beverly Hills of our city. I'll wait for the "Oooo's" and "Ahhh's" to die down before I continue.......Ready? Okay.

Talk about a gathering of wealthy socialites! Very posh. Lunch was very good. Much better than some of the other luncheon's I've been to. There must have had 30 people working the valet. It was pretty amazing to watch.

Anyway, on to the message. The guest speaker was Mitch Albom of Tuesdays with Morrie fame. I have not read that book but I've heard it's good. He gave us background on the book, where it came from, what it was about, the fact that he really only wrote it to pay for Morrie's medical bills and had no idea it would be as popular as it ended up being, etc., etc., etc. Very good speaker, which should not be surprising as he is a best selling author.

He talked about two of the points in the book: age and money. His/Morrie's message on age was basically that you shouldn't envy those younger than you for the experiences they are having, you should be proud of the experience you have on them. Very true. Enjoy your youth while you have it and you should have nothing to regret.

And then money. Really, the message wasn't anything that you or I haven't heard before. And most of it I've already started to figure out on my own. The crux was that at the end of your life, "when that last grain of sand is dropping through your hour glass", what is going to be most important to you? For most people, it is more about the people you love and have shared your life with rather than how you have spent your life. If what you ask for with your last dying breath is going to involve those that you love, you should make every effort to affect their lives now, while you have the time. The way you continue to be in the lives of those you leave behind is by leaving them with the memories they will always cherish.

How many times have we all said something like, "You know, if Laura was here, she'd totally say this is a beach day." The reason we can say things like that is because they have been involved in your life enough that you really got to know them and they had such an effect on your life that you recognize their influence after they are gone. That is the gift they have given to you. And that is the gift you should give to every person that is important to you.

I walked away from the luncheon reflecting on a couple of things: the obvious one being that the Universe is trying to reinforce to me that chosing my family over my career is the right thing to do and I should stop feeling so guilty for it. The second is that our company president would certainly not be very pleased if he'd been at the luncheon. That is the complete opposite of everything they are trying to tell us at work right now. Very amusing. My company paid me to listen to a speaker who was preaching to us about working less and enjoying life more.

Evanescent Dreams...

2007-03-28T10:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes they are. Sometimes they leave you feeling completely weirded out for the rest of the day. And that can be distracting.

One thing that I've read - and experienced - about pregnancy is that your dreams become much more vivid. I dream all. the. time. Mostly, they are very strange dreams. But upon waking I can shake them off and go about my day without a thought towards my brain's desperate attempt to reorder my daily thoughts and activities and neatly store them away.

Last nite, though. I had a dream that I got fired. I don't think I've ever had one like that before. Really. The head of the company came to me and said, "Geek, we're going to have to let you go." There are so many reasons that can't be true:

1. We are SUPER busy;
2. They are having a hard time hiring people;
3. They do not fire people unless they are doing layoffs - really, apparently even watching t.v. at your desk is acceptable.
4. In spite of what some may think, I'm pretty good at my job.

I know that it won't happen, but I'm still having a hard time shaking this off.

So, why did I have this dream (other than the pregnancy hormones)? Well, the biggest culprit is that for the first time in almost seven years of employment with this company, I got a bad review. Not because I did a bad job, but because my new supervisor is a jerk and, basically I don't work enough. I think the statement was, "It seems to me that you have a pretty good quality of life outside of work. And since you are entering into a new phase of your life, we need to discuss expectations versus what you are willing to do." What. The. Fuck. (Excuse my language, please).

As a result, I've been feeling pretty guilty for not working more. I should be thankful for the job I have and that the conditions in which I work are relatively good. But, at the same time, I don't think that just because they hand me a paycheck (stub) every two weeks, they can treat me like an indentured servant. And I feel guilty knowing that because I'm not getting more done, someone else is doing more. But, again, me working more will not solve that problem. Call me selfish. I like to think of it as self-preservation.

So, basically, six years of great reviews with old boss, one year of bad review with new boss. Add on that some of the other comments made me feel like I basically got demoted when I was ursurped into this new group. And add on that I've been very distracted lately by baby stuff. The sum of which equals bad dreams about getting fired. Ugh.

On the upside, I get to leave early today because I have a doctor's appointment. And tomorrow is Thursday!

Identity Crisis...

2007-03-27T07:05:00.000-06:00

On the way home yesterday, I saw a guy driving a Rold Gold truck eating a bag of Cheetos. I found this incredibly amusing... until I saw this morning that they are both Frito Lay products. So I'll amuse myself by imagining that he stole said bag of Cheetos from the back of his delivery truck under the pretense that nobody really counts the items that get restocked in the vending machines; or on the grocery shelves.

On another note: I forgot my darn makeup bag again this morning. Let's see how many questions I get today about how I feel or comments about how I look pale. Sometimes foreign men are not very hip to appropriate comments to American women. You are more than welcome to think it, just don't ask. That ranks right up there with the Vietnamese man who asks me at least once a week if I'm getting heavier with the baby. Take a deep breath and realize this comment is not intended how it sounds.

And remember that cable box I exchanged this weekend? It died last nite. Thanks, Time Warner. If I thought satellite was any better, you might be losing a customer.

Hmmm, I wonder if I might be a little irritable this morning....

Time Flies...

2007-03-26T07:30:00.000-06:00

Geez, I'm a little relieved to be at work today so I can recover from the weekend. But I'm also very anxious to get home so I can get more done. It was one of those weekends where you do a whole bunch of stuff, but there was still so much more to get done.

Saturday morning: First I exchanged our cable box for a new one. Sometime during the third quarter of last year we upgraded our cable box to an HD box. We started having problems with the signal shortly after. It would freeze up, pixelate and then skip forward to live t.v. Very annoying and actually quite stressful. Husband patiently (sorta') put up with it through football season and sometime after the New Year we stopped having problems. (This story is evidence of how much of a procrastinator I am.)

Then a week or so ago we had bad weather and the problems started again. So, finally, I called Time Warner and we ran through the usual fix-it ideas. The service rep finally said that it sounded like I needed to schedule a technician to come out. Ugh, I thought, that's a whole day I'd have to schedule because you never know when they're going to show up. So I decided that first I'd try just exchanging the box. We have a service center quite close and it would be easier than having a technician come out. Anyway, that was my first task. Didn't take long and appears to be successful, so far.

After that I took a trip to a local stationery shop to see if I could find any cool paper to use for baby announcements. My intent was to print everything myself. But, of course, I was amazed at the cost of the just the announcements: $20 for 10. Maybe that's not a lot to some of you out there, but I was pretty shocked. As I'm looking at the options, I kept thinking, " I could totally do that, and probably for less." But then I wondered if I ever would. I grabbed a box of note cards I was intending to use for thank you's and skee-daddled out of there. As I look at these, I'm thinking I could totally use them for my announcements. I'll just add my own embellishments (you know with the three month vacation I'll be on after the baby is born). So that was that.

When I got home, Husband and I went to Sears to buy a lawnmower, finally. We had been having a service do it for us the past two years, but at $20 a week, we decided we could save a gob of moolah and do it ourselves now. Based on what we spent on the mower, we will have made the money back in about three months. Not too bad.

Then a stop at Lowe's so Husband could get a small workbench. One of our projects, since the cable box was already pulled out, was to cut a bit off of the shelf in the "entertainment center" to allow the cords to pass behind it better. Makes our life a bit easier when rearranging and Husband gets to use his new saw he got for Christmas. Double bonus.

Once home, I pulled up as many of the clover flowers and clover from the yard as I could to try a prevent further spread and Husband assembled his new toy - a.k.a. the lawnmower. You can see evidence of our domesticity here. We proceeded to mow and weed-eat the front and back yards, pulled weeds from the flower beds, swept off sidewalks and the driveway, fertilized trees in front yard, watered plants on front porch, fertilized rose bushes in backyard (in a last attempt to save one of them), and watered the lawn. Whew. By the time it was all said and done, it was about 8 pm. Understandably, we were both exhausted and sore the next morning.

Okay, Sunday: we started our registry at Babies R Us. If only Target had had a slightly better selection at some of the big ticket items, we probably could have avoided registering at BRU at all, but alas. That was a two hour ordeal. A quick stop for lunch and on to Target to finish our registry there. I was better prepared for these registry trips, but still a little overwhelmed. But it's pretty much done for now. After the first shower, we'll review and replenish as needed.

We got home, exhausted, and took a short nap. Then it was on to the inside work. We finished laundry, cleaned our room (much bigger ordeal than it sounds), caught up on dishes, fixed a quick dinner, watered more lawn (there's a lot in back), and did a miniscule amount of ironing, and I was ready to be done by then. Oh, and Husband did a 10 mile bike ride, too.

So, really, I think we got a lot done this weekend, but there are so many other things to do still:

reorganize the "entertainment center"
gather tax paperwork
clean bathroom
clean up loft so I can move stuff from the nursery into the loft so I can move stuff from the dining room into the nursery - after painting it, of course
grocery shopping
pay bills
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera

And after all that, when I got to work this morning, I realized that I had taken stuff home to work on this weekend and not only forgot to do that, but also forgot to bring it back to work with me! Oops.

PS You can see belly pics here. And some new fun kitty pics here.

She's Big and Round...

2007-03-21T15:18:00.000-06:00

My belly is a-growin'. And I'm not very agile with it. Twice yesterday I bumped into things that I wouldn't normally bump into. For one who's never had a belly, this is a whole new adventure.

I should have known the day would come, though. I've recently noticed that Baby Girl gets more active when I'm standing at the stove cooking, and I don't think it's because she's super excited that Mommy is cooking and she can't wait to get a taste of it (though that should definitely be why). I think it's because I still stand very close to the stove and she gets warm. The belly's got to be a good 3 to 4 inches closer to the heat than I am. How many emergency rooms have had to treat pregnant women for belly burns, I wonder. Reminds me of that scene in Mrs. Doubtfire when she/he set her boobs on fire. (Sadly, that's entirely possible now, too!)

There'll be no more "squeezing" by obstacles anymore. You can't even suck this thing in! And I don't know that my boss is going to be too keen on the half moon I plan on cutting out of my desk so I can sit closer.

Baby Talk, Pt. 2

2007-03-13T11:32:00.000-06:00

Warning: This will probably be a frequent topic over the next few months...and then some, really.

Husband and I started our registry this weekend. I don't think I could have made it through without him either. There were several times when I just wanted to run away and hide. There is SO MUCH STUFF! And so many decisions to go along with it. The wedding registry was much easier. Possibly because we had so much already and I knew what few things I wanted to fill out our inventory. Ahhh!

And anybody who knows me knows that I can be really indecisive, which is why I like to do a lot of research in advance. There's nothing more frustrating than not knowing the answers. So Friday we went to Barnes&Noble to buy Baby Bargains, a book I had found on the internet and that also came recommended by several people. Our intent was to work on the yard on Saturday and do our shopping on Sunday. I even had a little - okay, large - To Do list with items marked as to whether they were a Saturday or Sunday activity.

Of course, I found out Friday that the store we were ordering the crib from is not open Sundays. So I thought we could run out there and order the crib, come back and work on the yard. But Husband decided we should just do all of our shopping on Saturday instead. I frantically tried to read as much as possible on Friday, but it's a big book with a lot of good information so I couldn't even skim. Long story long, I was totally unprepared.

Browsing the baby aisles on other occasions, I would day dream of how fun it would be to walk around with the scanner and pick things out. I did not anticipate the minor decisions associated with all those cute pink and blue, frilly, fun things. And throw into the mix that we got a bunch of hand-me-downs from Husband's little cousins - which I have not yet inventoried - well, you know, running and hiding, etc.

How hard could it really be? Well, let's start with the layette. Okay, nevermind that we have a large supply of some of the basic onesies, etc. already. How many of the onesies, gowns, socks, hats, bibs, pant sets do you register for? And what sizes. Presumably, Baby Girl will be somewhere in the 8 to 10 lb. range. But how long will she stay that small? So you have to decide on the quantity of 0-3 mos., 3-6 mos, 6+ mos. items to select.

Then there are the toys and activity centers. Which ones are best? Which aren't going to cause ADHD? What really works and what is a waste of money? How much of this stuff do we really need? Why the hell does this thing cost so much?

Next came the bottles. This is where I just about lost it. I knew what brand I wanted, but there were a plethora of choices within that brand. Are the bottles reusable? Do I need the 3 oz. (intended for 0 mos.) or the 9 oz. (best I can tell they are for the 1 mos.+). Can we just buy the bottles and supplement nipples as she grows? Do they all fit together right? What about breastfeeding and pumping? I know the pump I have isn't the same brand as the bottles, so what then? Which bags do I buy? How many of each do I need? Oh my goodness, I can't do this! But Husband calmed me down and reminded me that it could all be adjusted later as I learned more. For the moment, just get something on paper. Okay. Deep breath and continue.

After that were the diapers - the brand I picked was solely because I'd heard someone else talk about them before. And the bath items. We picked a set that is supposedly all natural, organic ingredients.

By then, I was exhausted, thirsty and my feet had swollen, so we quit. We haven't even started the baby appliances yet. Or the regular, non-layette clothes. And the ever looming question is should we register for things to help us as she gets older? I mean we're totally going to have it made for the first 6 weeks. After that, who knows? Is it wrong to go ahead and register for sippy cups and silverware? Or larger diapers/training pants?

Anyway, rest assured that the majority of the questions are getting answered, slowly. But I would like some feedback on the last group of questions. For those of you who've had babies recently, did you register for older baby things, too?

Okay, deep breath and move on....

Mmm, mmm, good...

2007-03-08T08:32:00.000-06:00

It smells outside like the cheap pizza they used to serve in school. You know, the square kind with very little or no tomato sauce and the giant fennel seeds and the hamburger. Oooo, and if you were lucky enough to get a corner piece with the crispy cheese: mmmmm! The closest thing I've found in the consumer market is Totino's. I'm sure all of my NYC readers are groaning since they know what real pizza tastes like. But, MAN, I want some of that crappy pizza!

And as long as we're talking about cafeteria food, how 'bout those burritos or the frito pie. I discovered those in Jr. High. We were not blessed enough to have had a franchised restaurant in our high school cafeteria, but I remember pizza pockets. Wow, they really knew how to promote bad diets.

And then there was Sbisa, the ultimate cafeteria. I ate at that place for 5-1/2 years while in college. When they started serving breakfast all day, I thought I had it made. I could eat waffles and eggs anytime of the day. There was a cereal bar in the mornings. All you can eat of the sugary-est stuff made. The Mouse-Stealing Roommate also had an affinity for swiping food stuffs, bowls, and utensils from the cafeteria. I admittedly still have four bowls from there and only recently got rid of the flatware (not to be confused with silverware).

There was always corn and occasionally you could get hominy. And you could count on there being pimentos in 50% of the stuff out there. And who could forget the meringue you could use to actually cement a plate to the underside of the table. And there was this one dessert that you could get from the hot lunch line that was like a brownie that wasn't completely cooked. Gooey, fudgy greatness!

And, as long as we're discussing food, I have to mention the no-bake cheesecake the Best Roommate Ever made in our dorm room that never set up. We still had great fun scarfing down the chocolately, soupy mess with bits of crust.

Omigosh, I think I just made myself hungry....

Baby Talk

2007-03-06T08:12:00.000-06:00

So a few little things:

We finally bought a bedding set a few weeks ago (courtesy of Nana and Papi S). I am very excited to be able to break it out someday. There's a little bit of red to go with the red that shows through on the distressed black crib we are (someday) going to order.

So now the task is whether or not we should buy the $200 mattress that the store we are ordering the crib from recommends. Really? $200? Doesn't that seem like a lot? I started researching mattresses online yesterday to see if there's a huge difference in the less expensive ones. And I came across this article. How's that for a little paranoia? It's one of those battles now between my desire to do absolutely everything I can to ensure my baby is healthy and my innate desire to not be ridiculously overprotective. I have a feeling my fear of tempting fate will win. Gah.

I feel I need to apologize to everyone out there for lying about the baby's name. We have more or less decided on a name, but we are not sharing. I've been telling people we don't know so they can't harrass it out of us. We had been sharing, selectively, but after someone commented that it was a black girl's name, we stopped. So one bad apple has spoiled the fun for everyone. Let me just say that the few people that I have known/heard of with the name are not black. In fact they were fair skinned, blonde women/girls. Rest assured that we will not be using Dijonnaise.

It's weeks like this...

2007-02-22T14:19:00.000-06:00

...that make me wish I spoke another language; so I could curse in another language. Somehow it seems like it would be more ladylike.

What would you do...

2007-02-19T10:33:00.000-06:00

...if a female co-worker showed up to work one day with a black eye? I don't know her very well and I don't know that anyone else noticed. I asked what happened and she said, "Nothing."

I feel like I need to say something, but I feel like I'm sticking my nose in someone else's business. I don't know the whole story, but is there ever a good explanation for these things? I did tell our office manager because she knows her a bit better and is the type of person to say something.

As far as I'm concerned, if he does it once, he'll do it again. And if he does it to her, he'll do it to her little girl.

The icing on the cake? He's a cop.

Oh, Rats! Pt. 2

2007-02-15T09:25:00.000-06:00

Husband did a wonderful job of patching holes last nite. And as he carefully dragged the tent bag out to the curb for the trash, Momma Mouse ran out. His report was that she was much bigger than the others we've seen, so she's clearly been having babies whilst inhabiting our garage. Woohoo? So the question remains: How many are left?

Husband also put out a large area rug for the trash because I had no idea on how to clean it. Therefore, I didn't want to sell it in a garage sale and it has no place in our home.

Amusingly, both tent bag and area rug were gone this morning from the curb. Really, maybe picking up others trash isn't a good idea. Should we have put a sign on them: "Infested with mice. Steal at your own risk." Ick.

Oh, Rats!

2007-02-14T15:22:00.000-06:00

Actually, they're just mice. And they're in our garage. Have been since around the beginning of the year. Our garage is currently storage for a whole lotta' junk. That's pretty much what most of it is, too.

So we bought a no kill trap. See, these mice have been displaced as a result of the land developers clearing out their homes across the street. They just needed a place to live. And being the bleeding heart, tree-hugger that I tend to be at times, I couldn't kill them. For those of you out there smugly thinking the trap will never work, we've actually caught two already. And there's at least one other left. Yes, at least. Apparently they can bread after only being about 5 to 6 weeks old. And one female will have up to 8 litters per year. Egad!

Lemme tell ya, them mices leave a lot of stuff behind. For a while, I could walk into the garage and it just smelled of mice. I know the smell because one of my college roommates used to have a mouse or two occasionally that she had swiped from the small animal labs where she worked. They can get pretty stinky. Anyone who's had a hampster probably knows the smell, too.

As we try to get the house in order before Baby Girl gets here, we are cleaning the garage.... albeit slowly. There are a few things that we've had to throw away because the mice have torn them up (sleeping bag and small rugs), but they were in the garage and clearly not being used. They've taken up residence in a tent bag. The tent is a humongous, antiquated tent that my uncle gave me two years ago (presumably to get it out of his garage) and we have yet to use it. So it's getting kicked to the curb this evening and Husband is going to attempt to plug up access holes with steel wool and plaster/cement.

In conjunction with...

2007-02-07T09:03:00.000-06:00

..cjh's most recent post, here is an interesting link. See how impartial you are. You don't have to share results unless you want to. They may be a little surprising even to you. There are several different tests for you to try.

If you don't actually want to participate in the study, you can do the demo tests here.

Two Little Things...

2007-02-06T08:29:00.000-06:00

A: For those of you addicted to Sudoku, try this website. It's fun, challenging and a little informative. My favorite is the reader's tips - wow some peeps spend waaaaay too much time on this. Bifurcation? Really? I mean, I do that to solve puzzles sometimes, but I didn't know it had a name other than trial-and-error. Try the Killer Sudoku. That's my new thing...

B: The new Harry Potter comes out in June! So I preordered my copy. I should get it probably mid July. Why so long? Because I ordered it through Amazon.ca so I am getting the children's edition of the British edition that is printed on 100% recycled paper. Scholastic - who prints the American version - is not willing to change their recycled paper content; or reveal how much actually is recycled paper. So, Mr. Poopie Pants, I bought it from someone else. It should be great fun, too, to read the British version. Like I don't already pick up enough random British phrases.

On a somewhat unrelated note. Tim's cousin has lived in London for the about four years now and she was home for Christmas. I could have listened to her talk all day long. Sadly, she tried to censor herself because others were poking fun at her. Seriously, I think I'm going to work on a new Texas dialect that mixes in some British phrases. Brilliant, y'all!

Okay, I know this is turning out to be more than two things, but CONGRATULATIONS! to katielady and bubba on their new bouncing baby buoy, oops, boy!

Land of the Litigious...

2007-01-30T10:49:00.000-06:00

I don't understand this. I don't understand why they suddenly have a problem with it. And I don't understand how they think they can get away with it.

My husband, who grew up in CS, remembers the sawn off horns being around for a very long time, though this guy has apparently only had a trademark on it for about 10 years. So, is there someone new on some board somewhere in Austin that thinks he will be remembered as the great person that put a stop to all of this? And if this isn't okay, why is okay to produce the stickers showing Calvin peeing on the Ford or Chevy logo. An even bigger question is why is it then okay to turn the US flag into a shirt or undies and wear it. Really?

BTW Tuesday is going much better than Monday. And I promise to have a post soon that is not me complaining about something.

I feel I need to explain that I don't harbor any animosity towards Longhorn fans per se. This post was simply to be an editorial on the lawsuit itself.

I Don't Like Mondays...

2007-01-29T12:17:00.000-06:00

Or: "Somebody's got a case of the Mondays!"
Ick. Mondays. Ick. I worked Saturday, so that makes it even harder to come back to work today. But add on that I forgot to bring my makeup with me this morning and I made a terrible wardrobe choice. Pink turtleneck sweater. Does NOT compliment my au-natural complexion at all. I would be okay with the no makeup if it weren't for the poor wardrobe choice. And I didn't have time to iron my hair. And I am apparently taking the blame for a mistake I didn't make. And I didn't drive today so I can't leave early. Ick.

My glass is definitely half empty today....maybe no one will notice if I just hide under my desk all day.

Artificial Intelligence...

2007-01-25T11:23:00.000-06:00

I find it amusing sometimes when using Outlook to send emails that the spell check sometimes tries to correct words into something that might be very amusing if you were to accept it. However, it might appear as an early warning sign of insanity if you were to call the recipient immediately to say, "Hey did you see how instead of word A it said word B? Isn't that hilarious?!?" Of course, if you don't do that then the recipient thinks you are an idiot and that you need to proofread your emails before sending them. So, I guess I will continue to chuckle to myself every time this happens.

Of course, I guess it must be said that quite often the words Outlook tries to correct are work related.

For example:

"creeped" might have become "creped" (never mind that "creeped" probably isn't a word anyway. Look it up in the "Beck-tionary")

Pregnancy Highs and Lows...

2007-01-19T08:45:00.000-06:00

Most recent high: I felt Her kick at lunch yesterday, from the outside. I’d been feeling Her from the inside for a while and movements have become more noticeable over the last week or so. But yesterday was the first time I felt her from the outside. Four times, right above my right hip bone. I’d had chili for lunch and it was kinda spicy.

So Husband and I waited all nite for her to do it again so he could feel, but to no avail. sigh

Lows: When you have to stop in the middle of brushing your teeth to go vomit. But then you can’t help laughing with your husband about it after you walk out of the bathroom and there’s still toothpaste residue around your mouth.

And, this will be too much information but pregnancy is anything but ladylike, adult onset diaper rash. That’s all I have to say ‘bout that.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice...

2007-01-11T08:20:00.000-06:00

It’s a girl! The nurse said she is about 90% sure. But, if it’s a boy, he’s hiding it very well. OMG! A girl! I don’t know what I’m going to do….I have no experience at raising a girl and barely any at being a girl. This one is definitely going to require participation from The Village.

Of course she'll still have to learn to fish, play baseball, etc. So maybe I don't need to worry about her being too girly....

To Know or Not To Know...

2007-01-05T14:30:00.000-06:00

That truly is the question right now. I have another ultrasound scheduled for next week and they will be able to tell us the baby’s gender – if we want to know. So that is the question I keeping asking Husband: “Do we want to know?”

Of course, the practical side of us recognizes that knowing the gender will help us plan a little better. But really, we’ve already decided on decorating scheme and colors. I’ve decided that a baby girl is not going to lose gender identity because she was raised in a blue and green room. So, in actuality the argument comes down to clothing. There are so many cute gender specific clothings out there and the gender neutral clothings are quite limited. Really, though, I think the point is mainly to help others figure out if the baby is a boy or a girl without having to ask. And it will be necessary since, in all likelihood, our baby is going to be bald for at least the first year of his/her life.

But, on the other hand, how cool will it be for my husband to be able to hand me our baby for the first time and say, “I’d like to introduce you to your baby boy/girl ?” Pretty darn cool. And I know some people argue that there are so many other surprises with pregnancy, etc. But is that really a bad surprise? Or is it possible for it to be a bad surprise?

sigh So once again, I’ve over-thought this and can’t make up my mind. What are your thoughts for/against finding out?

Fun Stuff There are a ton of “predictors” out there in case you can’t wait for the doctor to tell you:

http://www.thelaboroflove.com/chart/pred.html
http://www.amazingpregnancy.com/oldwivestales/index.phtml

Lo and Behold!!

2006-12-11T11:36:00.001-06:00

120606
Originally uploaded by geek1997.

So this is pretty much what has occupied my life for the last few months, and partially the reason for me not posting frequently. See, I’m battling the morning (read “all-day”) sickness and it has caused me to develop strange aversions. Not just aversions to foods, but activities. I don’t like the water closet in the master bedroom anymore. There’s a cosmetic I’ve had to stop using. I get sick when I think about shopping at Old Navy (that’s getting a little better, thank goodness). And, yes, I have an aversion to my blog. I think it would help if I was to give it a makeover, but that would require me working on it….ick. I have been keeping up with everybody, but I can’t stand the sight of mine. It is set as the homepage at work and I quickly have to stop it from loading or change directions before it loads fully. I’m sure some of it has to do with the nagging feeling that I need to post. Just one more thing to do. But much as I might have expected, the blogging world has gone on without me, and that’s great. It has provided some entertainment.

Anyway, the baby is doing very well according to the nurse. The whole doctor situation has been a comedy of errors, but Husband and I are very relieved to have discovered there’s no need to worry. We have made it to Week 14 and officially out of the first trimester so I’m counting the hours until the sickness stops (yeah, right) and trying to not be too obsessed with counting calories and pounds as they gaily join the party. Husband (and his grandfather, apparently) have commented on how much the baby already looks like him. And I’m secretly, frantically looking up other ultrasound pictures on the web to make sure it’s okay you can’t see the legs (insert comment about crazy pregnant lady hormones here).

Not So Grey-t...

2006-10-31T13:48:00.000-06:00

So I’m beginning to wonder if being able to actually hear a show can make or break it. I’ve been able to see a couple of episodes of Grey’s Anatomy at the gym in the cardio room. But I’ve had to read the closed captioning because I don’t have a radio with which to tune in. Sorry, guys, but I can’t say I’m that impressed.

First of all, it took me quite a while to even figure out which one was Grey. See, I had always assumed it was Patrick Dempsey. But quickly figured out that was wrong. So who was it? Eventually (after 1-1/2 episodes), I figured it out.

Second, I’m not sure I understand the premise. By deduction, I’d have to say that this show concentrates more on the interns than the residents (unlike ER). Mostly, though, it seems like just another nighttime drama. Also unlike ER, it doesn’t seem to cover as much of the medical part of the drama. That’s probably okay for some; I like a little substance with my fluff. Admittedly, ER has its own tendencies to overdo the drama. Every season invariably has one episode centered around some great tragedy like a snow storm or train wreck or helicopter crash or shooting. I try to miss those.

Okay, okay, don’t get your panties in a wad. I have to say that usually I don’t enjoy the shows everyone else does. And the shows I do enjoy, most others don’t. I hated Seinfeld after the first couple of seasons. Really, how annoying and dishonest can four people be? Most reality shows are crap – including Survivor. Plus it really pisses me off that the guy who created the show took valid challenges like the Eco-Challenge and turned them into drama crap, too. I don’t watch The OC or Smallville. I think most of the CSI shows are strictly about how gruesome they can get and how glamourous can they make a cop’s life look. Some of the equipment they use is so unbelievably ridiculous and the dialog is awful.

So what do I watch? I prefer shows with a bit of witty banter. And I really like those that I have to actually sit and watch or I get lost. I have been known to multi-task during television programs. So currently the lineup includes The Gilmore Girls, Studio 60, The Office, Scrubs, and My Name is Earl. All of those except Studio 60 have proven there longevity for at least one season so I don’t doubt they’ll be around for a while. Sadly, I’m not sure if Studio 60 will last. It requires too much of the viewers. And when I checked the time slot last nite, sure enough, they had pulled it for whatever reason. What was in its place? Friday Night Lights. Of course. Because a show about high school football and scantily clad, over-developed teenagers is much more interesting than witty banter and dialog that makes you think.

Wax On, Wax Off

2006-10-11T15:02:00.000-05:00

Okay, this may be too much information for some, so feel free to move on. And it’s probably bad social grace for a lady to reveal her beauty secrets, but here goes anyway: I love, love, love getting my legs waxed. Um, I should probably clarify: I’m not real crazy about the process, but very fond of the results.

It’s so nice to not have to really shave for several weeks at a time. Now, waxing does not get rid of all hair. There always a few that the strip doesn’t grab, or that are so thin that they just break off without actually being removed. So there is definitely still some shaving required, but it is still much more pleasant than before. Historically, I am one of those whose hair grows with goose bumps, so Heaven forbid I should get chilled getting out of the shower after shaving. Very frustrating.

An amusing factoid I learned during this most recent waxing: the salon/day spa I go to requires its new employees to pick a new name if they have the same name as a current employee. I guess the idea is that clients don't need to know last names when making an appointment. Can you imagine going in for a massage appointment and accidentally getting sent to get something waxed? Definitely not something I would want to go in for unprepared.

Oh, and the downfall to waxing: having to let it grow out for a week or two before going in. It’s hard in the summer.

Hello?

2006-10-04T08:51:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I noticed a comment on one of my posts the other day that caught my attention...very familiar name. Investigated and sure enough! My mom has joined our ranks. You'll notice that the ellipses run in the family. And, "Lo, and behold!" (as my junior high american history teacher used to say), so has my brother, the biker. His is probably mostly about cycling adventures and maybe some school, too. This should be interesting!

The Fear of God and Babies

2006-10-03T08:39:00.000-05:00

Why is it that I feel like I need to explain myself when I buy pregnancy tests? I don’t actually explain myself, but I feel like I should. Or flash them my wedding ring as though it were a badge indicating that I have the right to procreate. I mulled this over yesterday as I stood in line at Target and tried to be discreet about my purchase.

Clearly, I shouldn’t have to explain myself. What I do is nobody else’s business. I should be holding my head high and being thankful I have this opportunity. But I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a result of societal and parental influence.

Growing up all you hear about is how awful it would be to get pregnant at an early age. Though 100 years ago, I would have had a whole passel of chil’rens by now. But the various after school specials and government subsidized episodes of your favorite sit-coms more or less drilled it into your head that teen pregnancy is right up there with drug abuse. While I agree that teen pregnancy is not the best option, plenty of people have survived it. If they were trying to create emotional scarring that would generally discourage the population from ever procreating, they may have achieved their goal.

Add to that the fear instilled at home. I was the result of a teen pregnancy and my mom, determine to keep me from making the same mistake, once told me that if I got pregnant, I would be on my own. ‘Kay. If you know/knew me, that’s pretty laughable. I didn’t even date in high school. Problem solved.

So this is me dealing with the demons and trying to not feel ashamed about buying a pregnancy test. Hopefully I won’t pass out from holding my breath.

And the answer to your question is: No.

Tag, you're it!

2006-09-30T11:30:00.000-05:00

Since some of my readers may not check out all of my links to other blogs I read, I thought I'd stick this in here. Also because I totally know people who would do this - especially after the Coke Incident. I'll have to see if I can get a copy of that and post the video. Marc? Anne?

Thanks, tigger!

Oh, Dear! Oh, Dear! Oh, Dear!

2006-09-27T18:46:00.000-05:00

People who know me know Piglet is my favorite Winnie-the-Pooh character. I contemplated this during my two hour drive in to downtown this morning for a conference and came to the conclusion that you could probably tell a lot about a person based on their favorite Pooh character.

For example, Piglet is very shy and nervous. He does not like having to deal with new situations. He likes his very good friend, Pooh, with whom he is very comfortable. I, too, do rather poorly in new situations. This morning my stomach was in a great knot because I had to alter my usual morning routine and drive downtown to attend a conference. Being a shy person, I felt certain that I would spend the entirety of my day not talking to anyone and the school-age fear of "who will I eat lunch with?" came flooding back. Ugh. This is precisely why I am not very good at marketing.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy new experiences...once they have/are happening. It's getting to that point that becomes an issue. I have an adventurous spirit and would like to do all kinds of new and different things but my head gets in the way and "rains on the parade" shall we say? I learned years ago that if I can just force myself to go through with a social commitment, things usually turn out well.

And things turned out just fine. Two other people from my office showed up about 10 minutes into the first session. Ironically, I was later annoyed that neither wanted to go to a different session than the other. Not because they were interested in the same lectures, but because they didn't want to be alone. (In the sessions, I'm okay with being alone - it's the in-between times when you are supposed to be social with people you don't know that I can't handle.)

Moving on...my husband and best friend would both choose Eeyore. Again, great representation of their personalities to some extent. They never give up and always try new things, but mostly not surprised if things don't turn out well.

My former college roommate would have chosen Pooh. Very well meaning, but really no clue about how her actions affect others.

Terms of Endearment...

2006-09-22T08:01:00.000-05:00

I had a college roommate that would talk about how Terms of Endearment made her cry; and when she cried at this movie, she sounded like a cow. It's true. I’ve witnessed it. I was reminded of this as I sobbed while watching ER last nite. I mean sobbed. Full on crying. Very traumatic. Add to that that they were playing Slow Motion by David Gray which is already a sad sounding song. I will forever cry when I hear that song now.

I cry at a lot of movies, shows, commercials, songs, etc. I usually have to restrain myself because someone else is in the room. It's better if it's just my husband because he knows I do this and I don't have to show as much restraint. Luckily my husband was upstairs playing guitar last nite so I had no reservations about just letting it loose.

Unfortunately, it’s very hard for me to hide when I’ve been crying. Due to my sinusitis, even the slightest tear causes my sinuses to swell and it becomes very hard for me to breath. There is usually a lot of sniffling. Oh, and my nose turns bright red.

Recently my husband and I went to a movie with a friend and his girlfriend, one of my not-so-favorite people (actually, probably the least favorite person I know right now – even worse than The Idiot I work with). It was a comedy, but the textbook sad moment came up and I started silently weeping. Well, after the scene was over, I was still sniffling. She turned to me and asks, “Are you crying?” Loudly and incredulously. I’m guessing no less than 15 people heard her. Of course I said, “No,” and restrained myself from adding, “you cold-hearted bitch.” Now, I can laugh about it and it has become a joke with my husband and me. But then, not so thrilled.

PS Another song that will forever make me weep: Jeff Buckley’s version of Hallelujah. Thank you West Wing.